Python Night: 30 Years of Monty Python

[Four pepperpots have been asked what they would like to see on the BBC]

First pepperpot:
I'd like to see that nice Michael Palet doing one of his travel programmes. You know when he says Hello, I'm Michael Palin and they say oh hello Michael how are you. And he says oh I'm very very well thank. What a nice hat you have. Would you like to come in and he says oh good idea and on and on and on.

Eric:
Is Monty Python still alive? Well, technically, yes. He is on a wife support system in an old jokes' home in Surrey. When reached for tonight's tribute, he said, "Coo," then asked for a new bedpan. So the legendary wit has not gone with the passing of time... or his colon.

Eric:
Well, John's obviously the cruel heartless bastard.

Doctor:
[archive footage] Now I know some hospitals where you get the patients lying around in beds.

Eric:
Michael's the sweet, slightly ineffective lower middle class one.

Silly Walker:
[archive footage] I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it.

Eric:
Terry is the ratbag woman.

Ratbag Woman:
[archive footage] [cackles with laughter]

Eric:
and Gilliam is anything with unpleasant makeup jobs. [archive footage of Gilliam with a ferret through his head]

Eric:
It's ridiculous, there's no sense to it at all. Why are the Vikings there? Why are they dressed as Vikings? Why are they singing love songs to pressed meat?

Eric:
[about 'Sit on My Face'] Gracie would have loved my version I'm sure.

Michael Palin:
[archive footage - debate in defence of Life of Brian] Yes, you started out with an open mind.

John Cleese:
[archive footage - debate in defence of Life of Brian] 400 years ago we would have be burned for this film. Now I am suggesting we have made an advance.