Ratchet & Clank

Cora:
Got a long line of citations here. Possession of an illegal gravity repulsor?

Ratchet:
Oh, that was a misunderstanding. I thought that space pirate was on the level.

Brax:
Operation of a black market accelerator.

Ratchet:
"Operation" is a strong word. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!

Cora:
Willful disruption of the space-time continuum?

Ratchet:
That is a funny story…

Qwark:
You're reckless, you're a loose cannon, and you're dangerous! That's my shtick!

Ratchet:
Wait! Just gimme a chance!

Qwark:
Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy! Get back out there, and remember, you can do anything... as long as you're me! NEXT!

Warbot Defect (Clank):
I must get to Aleero City! [falls over] They are in danger!

Ratchet:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, who's in danger?

Warbot Defect:
An army is coming. I must warn them!

Ratchet:
Hang on, slow down. You've been in a crash! What do you say we get you back to my garage? I'll run a diagnostic and have you fixed up in no time.

Defect (Clank):
Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.

Ratchet:
It's no problem. [helps Clank to his feet] So what do I call you?

Defect:
I suppose my proper designation is warbot defect 85429– [falls over again]

Ratchet:
Maybe I'll just call ya... "Clank". My name's Ratchet. Up and down… There you go. You're a natural. [Clank keeps shaking] Okay, that's enough. [Clank still shakes his hand] Or just keep shaking. That's cool, too.

Clank:
Hmm... hmm... hmm?

Ratchet:
What?

Clank:
Apologies. I have not been able to locate your species in my database.

Ratchet:
I get that a lot. There aren't many of us left. [from Clank's viewpoint, Ratchet's body is compared with that of Daxter, Dan Johnson and Sly Cooper, none of which match] Not in this galaxy, anyway. I'm a Lombax.

Clank:
A Lombax? Fascinating.

Ratchet:
Yeah. I crashed on Veldin when I was just a baby. No note, no message, no name... huh, kind of like you.

Ratchet:
I can totally help.

Clank:
I cannot ask a civilian to get involved in something so dangerous.

Ratchet:
Whoa, hey, I'm not just a civilian. The rangers are actually my, uh... friends. Why do you think i have so many pictures of them?

Clank:
But why are you not in any of them?

Ratchet:
Well, somebody had to take the picture, right?

Clank:
Ratchet, we are clearly not prepared for this. We should have contacted the rangers to warn them of the attack!

Ratchet:
Haha! Yeah, like they'd know who we are!

Clank:
But you said they were your friends!

Ratchet:
Whaaaaat...? I think you're quoting me out of context.

Clank's recorder:
[playing recording of Ratchet's voice] The rangers are actually my, uh… friends!

Ratchet:
Do you record everything I say?

Clank's recorder:
[playing recording of Ratchet's voice] Do you record everything I say?

Chairman Drek:
How did this happen? Someone explain it to me! [points to Dr. Nefarious] You! You're supposed to understand how they think! How did you not see this coming? And Victor! [grunts] Do you know how many candidates you beat out for your position? I could have hired the Zeezils Brothers! [Zed enters] It's enough to make me want to vaporize someone! [Zed leaves immediately] We're putting our project on hold. I'm ordering all remaining warbots to the Deplanetizer until the heat dies down. [slams his head down on his desk]

Dr. Nefarious:
Before we make any rash decisions, I wonder if you'd permit me to troubleshoot this for you.

Drek:
[sighs] Go on.

Nefarious:
Our question is simple. How do you destroy a team of heroes?

Victor von Ion:
Whoa! Whoa! Well, lots of ways, really. Chains? Knives? Guns? An enormous rock? [Dr. Nefarious stares at Victor in disbelief while Drek lifts his head up, revealing a post-it note with a cat drawn on it stuck to his forehead] Rock!

Nefarious:
The answer is "from within"! If we continue to fight them with muscle, we'll lose every time. But if we turn one of their own against them... of course, we'd need a weak link. A sad simpleton who'd believe whatever we tell him. A corruptible... [removes the note from Drek's forehead] ...Moron, but who? [shows a picture of Captain Qwark] Who? [Drek stares, not understanding what Nefarious is getting at] Who?

Drek:
Hmm... [Nefarious snaps his fingers and points to the picture, finally getting through to the Blarg] Ah! I'm getting an idea, boys! [laughs evilly]

Nefarious:
You're a genius, sir.

Drek:
I know, I know!

Qwark:
Your protosuit is the most advanced combat armor on the market, and it comes in all the latest fall colors!

Ratchet:
Sweet!

Qwark:
A neural sensor in your helmet reads your thoughts and telequips the desired weapon into your hands. Try equipping your Combuster! [after a few seconds, Ratchet equips the gun] There you go!

Computer:
Combuster equipped.

Ratchet:
Wicked.

Qwark:
The Combuster is the backbone of the Rangers' arsenal, allowing you to hit targets in a short-to-medium range.

Cora:
[Ratchet misfires a few times] This is embarrassing.

Qwark:
The Alpha Disruptor fires a deadly stream of plasma, allowing you to hit multiple targets at once.

Ratchet:
[misfires once more, flying all around the training area] Whoa!

Brax:
See? He’s got it…sort of.

Qwark:
This little baby’s the Negotiator. Fires multiple long-range, high-impact rockets. Great versus heavy armor. [Ratchet knocks himself off the platform with two Negotiator missiles] Buzz Blades! [several Buzz Blades fly around the room while one chases Ratchet around, yelling in protest] The Warmonger. [Ratchet fires a few rockets, but they turn around and fly toward him] I dunno, the Spiral of Death? [Ratchet fires the Spiral of Death twice, only to accidentally slice the platform in half, making him fall] Fusion Grenade? [Ratchet throws the grenade, but it doesn’t explode on impact and it bounces back toward him, smacking him onto the glass the Rangers were watching from] Wow.

Brax:
Dude.

Ratchet:
How am I doing? [slides off the glass]

Ratchet:
Big heroes do big things.

Ratchet:
I can totally help

Ratchet:
Like they know who we are

Ratchet:
I'm not just a civilian the rangers are actually my uh friends

Clank:
My piloting skills are slightly underdeveloped

Clank:
Chairman drek is cunning he will be prepared for our assault

Clank:
Blaming yourself and taking responsibility are two very different things

Captain Qwark:
Prepare to be blown away by my epic humility.

Captain Qwark:
And I was like warrior no I said I was a worrier

Captain Qwark:
Your reckless you're a loose cannon and your dangerous

Grimroth:
I, uh... I'm not pretty good with advice, but I do no this: to be a hero, you don't have to do big things… just the right ones.

Dr. Nefarious:
"Mad" suggests cognitive impairment. I'm more of a vengeful scientist.

Dr. Nefarious:
Sheepinator. One of my personal favourites.

Dr. Nefarious:
[last line] No! Get away from me! Do not stick that thing in... Oh! Oh! Oh! Quit trying to repair me, you moron! I am not a robot! [laughs]

Captain Qwark:
You’re reckless, you're a loose cannon and you’re dangerous! That’s my shtick.

Captain Qwark:
Maybe. But, now the last laugh is on you!