Rock-a-Doodle

Edmond:
[after he realizes he is now a kitten] Jeepers! I'm all furry!

Grand Duke:
If I kill my nephew, would it be murder of charity?

Hunch:
Uncle Dukey!

Edmond:
Chanticleer?

Grand Duke:
No... it's not Chanticleer.

Edmond:
Who-who are you?

Grand Duke:
You put your finger in the Duke's face, remember? These are expensive, you little brat! [throws his broken monocle on the floor] But that is not why the Duke is going to eat you.

Edmond:
Eat me?

Grand Duke:
Oh, dear. Now I've gone and spoiled the surprise. Always doing that. But you see, we creatures of the night have worked very hard to make absolutely sure that that bird does not return. And you... you, with no regard for the feelings of others, have the nerve to call him back here by name. And besides, I positively loathe rock 'n' roll.

Edmond:
You're not gonna eat me!

Patou:
[narrating] And that's when the Duke hit the ceiling. [the Duke literally hits the ceiling] If Edmond wanted to bring Chanticleer back to raise the sun, the Duke was going to have something to say about it.

Grand Duke:
Kittens are more digestible.

Patou:
[narrating] Young Edmond was about to have the most amazing adventure he'd ever dreamed of.

Patou:
Once upon a time, back before I knew how to tie my shoes, the sun came up. Now, I know an everyday sunrise may not seem like such a big deal to some folks. But, imagine for a moment: if instead of rising up like this one morning where you lived, she took a look around and decided to go back to sleep. It happened once to us. Let me tell you all about it.

Patou:
Chanticleer, you've gotta crow, and you gotta crow now!

Edmond:
Ahem. Excuse me, ma'am.

Goldie:
[startled] Aah! Oh, who are you?

Edmond:
[starting to sneeze] Ma'am, I... I... Ah-choo!

Goldie:
Oh, my goodness!

Edmond:
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Goldie:
Oh, you poor thing. [hands him a tissue] Now, what are you doing in my dressing room?

Edmond:
Please, ma'am! You're the only one who can help us! We have to talk to Chanticleer... I mean the King. [Goldie gasps] If he doesn't come home and crow...

Goldie:
Wait a minute, wait a minute! You're the bad little kitty Pinky told me about!

Edmond:
Bad? Me? I'm not bad.

Goldie:
[picks up a sundae cup] You go away or I'll scream! Aah! Aah!

Hunch:
[the Swedish "Uncle Dukey!"] Onkel Nattis!

Pinky:
[Pinky's guards have Chanticleer in a stranglehold] Don't hurt him, boys. He's got a movie to make.

Chanticleer:
I ain't makin' nothin' with you!

Pinky:
Oh, but, King, I got a lot of money tied up in this picture. I don't wanna lose my money, and you don't wanna lose your friends.

Chanticleer:
That's blackmail!

Pinky:
That's showbiz! MAKE-UP!

Patou:
Now, I got to admit as bad guys go, the Duke's nephew Hunch was more a hoot than he was horrible. But still, he was a nuisance and as we were tied up at the moment, we weren't all that happy to see him.

Peepers:
Don't be such a fraidy-cat!

[repeated line]

Hunch:
Uncle Dukey!

Pinky:
[a phone conversation] Yeah? Oh, howdy, boss. How are you? Uh-huh. Huh? You say a cat, a dog, a bird and a mouse? What is this? Some kind of joke, huh?

Grand Duke:
[talking on the phone] Oh, well, I don't think it's funny, Pinky. They want to bring Chanticleer back to the farm. You don't want that, he makes you lots of money; I don't want that, he makes me miserable

Pinky:
Right, boss, and what should I do about it?

Grand Duke:
Your chicken thinks they don't want him on the farm. Well, that's good. All you have to do is make sure he keeps thinking that. It is not good that the kitty and his friends should talk to your chicken. Capisce?

Pinky:
Yeah, thanks a million. This has been most enlightening.

[the Grand Duke arrives in Edmond's live-action bedroom]

Edmond:
Chanticleer?

Grand Duke:
No... it's not Chanticleer.

Edmond:
Who-who are you?

Grand Duke:
You put your finger in the Duke's face, remember? These are expensive, you little brat! [throws his broken monocle on the floor] But that is not why the Duke is going to eat you.

Edmond:
Eat me?

Grand Duke:
Oh dear, now I've gone and spoiled the surprise. Always doing that. But you see, we creatures of the night have worked very hard to make absolutely sure that that bird does not return. And you... you, with no regard for the feelings of others, have the nerve to call him back here by name! And besides, I positively loathe rock 'n' roll. [laughs]

Edmond:
You're not gonna eat me!

Narrator:
And that's when the Duke hit the ceiling. [the Duke literally hits the ceiling] If Edmond wanted to bring Chanticleer back to raise the sun, the Duke was going to have something to say about it.

Grand Duke:
Kittens are more digestible.

Narrator:
Young Edmond was about to have the most amazing adventure he'd ever dreamed of.

[The Duke transforms Edmond into an animated kitten and his live-action bedroom into a cartoon one]

Snipes:
Girls, they think they know everything! Why don't you run home, be a "mousewife", make cheese?

Peepers:
Snipes, you think you're so superior.

Snipes:
"Thuperior"; nice lisp!

Peepers:
My lisp isolates and elevates me, and makes me a rare specimen.

Hunch:
I got 'em! I really got 'em! No more kitty, Sir! Mission... [snickers] accomplished!

Grand Duke:
And the dog?

Hunch:
Gone, wiped out, sir!

[The Duke laughs wickedly at this]

Hunch:
Total and complete annihilation!

Grand Duke:
Annihilation! Yes... h-h-h-how did you do it?

Hunch:
Adequately.

Grand Duke:
[confused] Uh, "ade-ade-ade..."? Wh-what's that supposed to mean?

Hunch:
Well, Uncle, we sucked them into an adequate pipe.

Grand Duke:
A what?

Hunch:
That's what it said. "Danger: Adequate Pipe."

Grand Duke:
[with forced calm] Oh ho ho, Hunch... come to Uncle. [Hunch approaches; the Duke turns him into a green chicken-type thing] YOU IMBECILE! That's not an "Adequate Pipe" - it's an AQUEDUCT PIPE! It leads straight into the city! [turns Hunch back to normal] The Duke gives you one last chance, Hunch! Them, or you! [throws a meat cleaver down right next to him] Now get to the city!

Hunch:
Oh, not the city, sir! Oh, no! It's too bright! I'll go blind!

Grand Duke:
Oh, say it isn't so. [hands him a pair of sunglasses]

[After the Grand Duke is turned into a tiny owl, he is surrounded by a mouse and a chick, who frighten him as he falls into the water. Hunch catches him]

Grand Duke:
[in a squeaky voice] Hunch! It's me, Uncle Dukey!

Hunch:
Uncle Dukey? [laughs as he holds a fly swatter behind his back] Come here, (Uncle Dukey)!

[Hunch tries to strike the Grand Duke with it]

Grand Duke:
[last words before his presumed death] Hunch, no!

[Hunch chases him with the fly swatter as they get into the clouds]

Hunch:
Animation, it's music to my ears. Hold still, you little twerp! Aggravation, abomination, alienation.

[They both disappear into the clouds]

Peepers:
He's claustrophobic. Teeny weeny tiny places make him very very nervous. Huh?!

Edmond:
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

[After Peepers saves Edmond and his friends from falling in Pinky's helicopter, they bring Chanticleer back to the farm]

Pinky:
The King is gone, and I'm ruined! [Pinky cries in defeat]

Chanticleer:
I'm sorry but I don't know how to Crow. I've given up enough hope.