Rock

Stanley Goodspeed:
Why didn't you just tell them were the microfilm was and create a solution?

John Mason:
The moment they knew where the microfilm was, they'd suicide me. Some solution.

Paul (hotel barber):
I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?

General Hummel:
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

John Mason:
"Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious," according to Oscar Wilde.

John Mason:
Thank you for making my point.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair:
Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China!

General Hummel:
Who is this? Identify yourself!

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair:
This is White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General.

General Hummel:
How OLD are you Mr. Sinclair?

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair:
I'm 33.

General Hummel:
Well Mr. Sinclair, you've probably got no F***ING idea what I'm talking about! By your 9th birthday, I was running BlackOps into China and my men were responsible for over two-hundred enemy kills! Now someone put some riggin tape over Mr. Sinclair's mouth, he's wasting my time!

John Mason:
I'm fed up saving your ass. I'm amazed you made it past puberty.

Stanley Goodspeed:
How do you... do it?

John Mason:
I was trained by the best. British intelligence. But in retrospect I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Okay.

Commander Anderson:
Thank you very f***ing much Mr. Mason, you've led us into a room with no exit.

General Hummel:
Put the phone down.

Major Tom Baxter:
I'm calling them Frank, I'm asking for more time.

General Hummel:
You're being asked by a friend.

General Hummel:
You're being ordered by a superior officer.

General Hummel:
Now you're being given your last chance by a man with a gun.

John Mason:
When all this is over, you'll go back home driving Carla and your baby insane in your beige Volvo. And I'll be dead or in jail which is the same thing.

Carla:
You didn't mean what you just said, did you?

Stanley Goodspeed:
When?

Carla:
Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and how it'd be an act of cruelty.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I meant it at the time.

Carla:
"At the time"? Stanley, you said it seven and a half seconds ago!

Stanley Goodspeed:
Well... gosh, kind of a lot's happened since then.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.

Commander Anderson:
Have you ever been in a combat situation?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Define combat, sir.

Commander Anderson:
Shep...

Lt. Shephard:
An incursion underwater to retake an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of US Marines in possession of 81 hostages and fifteen guided rockets armed with VX poison gas.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Oh. In that case, no, sir.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I'd take pleasure in guttin' you boy. I'd take pleasure in guttin' you... boy. What is wrong with these people, huh? Mason? Don't you think there's a lot of, uh, a lot of anger flowing around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don't you think? A lotta angst, a lot of 'I'm sixteen, I'm angry at my father' syndrome? I mean *grow up*! We're stuck on an island with a bunch of violence-for-pleasure-seeking psycophatic marines, SHAME ON THEM!

Stanley Goodspeed:
Anyway, I only got one chemround and there's two left. Mason?

John Mason:
Yes, I'm here. I was just thinking how wonderful it was when the inmates weren't allowed to talk in here.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I love pressure. I eat it for breakfast.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Hi, I'm an agent with the federal... FBI... I'm Stanley Goodspeed.

John Mason:
But of course you are.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Of course.

John Mason:
And you have an emergency.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Right.

John Mason:
And you need my help.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Exactly right.

John Mason:
Coffee?

Stanley Goodspeed:
No, I'm fine, thank you.

John Mason:
Offer me coffee.

John Mason:
I'm sure all this will make a great bed time story to tell your kid.

Stanley Goodspeed:
You're insane, Mason. The kid'll have nightmares. I'll spend all my money on shrinks.

Stanley Goodspeed:
You mean I'm going out there, under the water?

Womack:
Earlier you wanted a gun. Now you're getting a gun and a wet suit.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I'm unarmed sir. I am unarmed, sir.

Womack:
Where's your issue?

Stanley Goodspeed:
I left in my, uh, in my

Stanley Goodspeed:
sock draw.

FBI Agent Hunt:
A gun? For what? You're a chemical freak!

Stanley Goodspeed:
Heh. I'm a chemical superfreak, actually, but I still need a gun.

Agent Paxton:
Give him a goddamn gun.

Major Tom Baxter:
I thought you weren't ready to kill.

General Hummel:
I'm warmin' up.

John Mason:
This is more enjoyable than my average day... reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms... though, it's less of a problem these days... maybe I'm losing my sex appeal.

Stanley Goodspeed:
You've been around a lot of corpses. Is that normal?

John Mason:
What, the feet thing?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Yeah, the feet thing.

John Mason:
Yeah, it happens.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Yeah, well I'm having a hard time concentrating. Can you do something about it?

John Mason:
Like what, kill him again?

John Mason:
I have a unique knowledge of this prison facility. I was formerly a guest here.

Stanley Goodspeed:
You know, I like history too, and maybe when this is all over you and I can stop by the souvenir shop together but right now I just... I just wanna find some *rockets*!

John Mason:
I've been in jail longer than Nelson Mandela. Maybe you want me to run for president.

General Hummel:
The men of marine force recon are selected to carry out illegal operations throughout the world. When they don't come home, their families are told fairy tales about what happened to them... and denied compensation. Well, I have choked on these lies my entire career. Well here and now the lies stop.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Glass or plastic, glass or plastic?

Commander Anderson:
Make no mistake, gentlemen. We are in the fight of our lives, against one of the greatest battalion commanders of the Vietnam War, I sh*t you not.

General Hummel:
You made a terrible mistake, and more of our brothers have died in vain. Damn you for forcing me into this position.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Mason, the second you don't respect this, it kills you.

John Mason:
Your mother, she was very special.

Jade Angelou:
Yeah, she was. But I don't think that we should romanticize what happened between you and her. Two people meet in a bar after a Led Zepplin concert, head out, and I was the result.

John Mason:
Well, I'd like to think it would have led somewhere if...

Jade Angelou:
If what? Six federal marshals hadn't kicked down her door and dragged you back to prison?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?

Captain Darrow:
Excuse me, general... but what about the f***ing money?

General Hummel:
There is no f***ing money. The mission's over.

Captain Frye:
Bullshit it's over.

Major Tom Baxter:
You're talking to a General, soldier. Maintain discipline.

Captain Darrow:
I'm not a soldier, Major. The day we took hostages, we became... mercenaries. And mercenaries get paid. I want my f***ing money.

John Mason:
I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.

Stanley Goodspeed:
May I also suggest a haircut?

John Mason:
Why, am I out of style?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Unless you're a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It's a grunge thing.

FBI Director Womack:
No scissors. Just clippers.

Paul the Hotel Barber:
What? Are you kidding me? No scissors? Did they tell Picasso 'No brush'?

FBI Director Womack:
With scissors, this man could kill you.

John Mason:
I can't cut off anyone's balls with a pair of clippers, now can I? Let's do this outside, get some sun.

John Mason:
Welcome to the Rock.

Captain Frye:
You changed the coordinates, didn't you, General?

General Hummel:
That's affirmative, Captain.

Sergeant Crisp:
So now they think we're gutless, the feds? They think we won't actually do it?

Captain Frye:
They're going to come at us with everything they got. Air and sea. They're going to bomb our ass back to the Stone Age.

Major Tom Baxter:
They don't know we missed on purpose.

Captain Frye:
Great. We're not gutless, we're incompetent.

Captain Frye:
Me and my boys are cocked, locked and ready to rock.

John Mason:
What exactly does this stuff do?

Stanley Goodspeed:
If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out the entire city of people.

John Mason:
Really? And what happens if you drop one?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Happily, it'd just wipe out you and me.

John Mason:
How?

Stanley Goodspeed:
It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. Stops the brain from sending nerve messages down the spinal cord within thirty seconds. Any epidermal exposure or inhalation and you'll know. A twinge at the small of your back as the poison seizes your nervous system -

Stanley Goodspeed:
DO NOT MOVE THAT. Your muscles freeze, you can't breathe, and you spasm so hard you break your own back and spit your guts out. But this is after your skin melts off.

John Mason:
My God.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Oh, I think we'd like God on our side at the moment, don't you?

John Mason:
Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I fear the Greeks even when they bear gifts.

John Mason:
An Educated Man, that rules out Field Agent

Stanley Goodspeed:
Some Terrorists decided to send a little care package. Box of goodies. Which had to be neutralized before blowing up the office...

Stanley Goodspeed:
...so I took the rest of the day off. Glass of wine, little guitar... Just relaxing. I mean it honey, the world is being faxed to hell in a hand cart. I really believe anyone thinking even thinking of bringing a child in to the world is coldly considering an act of cruelty.

Stanley Goodspeed:
I know, I'm rambling, I'm complaining, I'm sorry. What's your news, baby?

Carla:
I'm pregnant.

Stanley Goodspeed:
How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair:
Three tours in Vietnam, Panama, Grenada, Desert Storm; three Purple Hearts, two Silver Stars and the Congressional Medal of - Jesus. This man is a hero.

General Al Kramer:
Well, I think "legend" might be a better description, Mr. Sinclair.

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair:
Well, now we can add kidnapping and extortion to his list of accolades.

General Al Kramer:
Mr. Sinclair, General Hummel is a man of honor.

Cable car conductor:
Damn, this sucks. Where's that son of a b*tch? I'm going to hunt him down. That motherf***er ain't safe nowhere.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Oh yes. Bring it here.

Isherwood:
Why did you have it sent here?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Carla wouldn't approve. She thinks it's stupid to spend $600 on an LP.

Isherwood:
Carla's right. Why didn't you just spend $13 on a CD, man.

Stanley Goodspeed:
First of all, it's because I'm a Beatlemaniac. And second, these sound better.

John Mason:
This isn't combat, it's an act of lunacy. Personally, I think you're a f***ing idiot.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Alright, I'll do it myself. I've had three weeks weapons training, I'll kick the... out of a platoon full of marines. No problem.

Stanley Goodspeed:
What do you say we cut the chit-chat, a-hole?

Kid On Motorcycle:
Dude, you just f***ed up your Ferrari.

Stanley Goodspeed:
It's not mine.

Stanley Goodspeed:
And neither is this.

John Mason:
Womack. Why am I not surprised you piece of sh*t.

Captain Darrow:
Maybe now they'll pay up.

Captain Hendrix:
Maybe now they won't, captain.

Captain Darrow:
Then maybe we need to execute a few hostages.

General Hummel:
I guess you haven't completely taken care of the rat problem, Captain.

Captain Hendrix:
No, sir.

General Hummel:
Well, there are two dead men here who strongly suggest that you go finish the job.

Captain Hendrix:
Yes, sir.

Captain Hendrix:
YES, SIR!

Agent Paxton:
What's status?

Stanley Goodspeed:
Status... is, they're dead. They're dead! It's just me and Mason, now he says he's leaving.

Agent Paxton:
That is unacceptable, do you hear me? Unacceptable!

Stanley Goodspeed:
Well, there's a problem sir, he's got a gun!

Agent Paxton:
What do you have, a f***in' water pistol?

John Mason:
In my day, we did it all with a snorkel and flippers.

Stanley Goodspeed:
Yeah, okay, this is about the most awful thing I've ever seen.

Stanley Goodspeed:
FBI... Freeze Sucker.

Captain Darrow:
Sergeant Crisp, secure the General. I'm relieving you of command, sir.

Captain Darrow:
SERGEANT.

Sergeant Crisp:
I'll have that sidearm, sir.

General Hummel:
You mean this sidearm?

Captain Frye:
Major Baxter, you're either with us or against us.

Major Tom Baxter:
It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve with you, General.

Major Tom Baxter:
But like he said, it's over.

Hotel Barber:
Oh, who did this to you? This is just not right. In fact, it's nasty...

John Mason:
Well, it's a..."grunge thing".

Bob:
Ladies and gentlemen, I, Ranger Bob, cordially invite you to become inmates of Alcatraz.

Womack:
Damn it, you're on a need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know.

John Mason:
I'm only borrowing your HumVee!

Bob (park ranger):
I'm not allowed to carry a gun!

Female Tourist:
Oh you're not allowed to carry a gun? I got a goddamned gun! If I'd'a known this was gonna happen, I'd'a brought my mother-f***in' gun! Help!

John Mason:
The Rock has become a tourist attraction?

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed:
Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Somehow the bottle carbonated. Voila, champagne, and uhh, then the whole thing...

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed:
It's very, very horrible sir. It's one of those things we wish we could disinvent. This isn't a training exercise, is it?

John Mason:
Forget Maui.

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed:
Yeah.

General Hummel:
Ladies and gentlemen, you're being detained against your will, and for that I apologize. It is not our intention in any way to harm you, you will not be detained one minute longer than is necessary for us to complete our mission.

Stanley Goodspeed:
You're not leaving! There's a madman in there with his hand on a... ON A BUTTON!

John Mason:
Shh!

John Mason:
Some sniper's gonna get his ass