Romance & Cigarettes

Kitty Kane:
You two must think I'm the cucumber in the gardener's ass.

Cousin Bo:
Some people fear the Lord. I fear women.

Kitty Kane:
What really happened between you and Roe?

Cousin Bo:
Roe... was my first love. I traced her name in cow sh*t. She was my first, my last, my everything.

Kitty Kane:
Was it um... true? I mean that, you had...?

Cousin Bo:
What?

Kitty Kane:
Um... trouble?

Cousin Bo:
Only with Roe. With other chicks, I'm Barry White. I go to the meat market.

Nick Murder:
Are you circumcised?

Angelo:
What?

Nick Murder:
Are you circumcised?

Angelo:
Circularized?

Nick Murder:
No, circumcised.

Angelo:
My circulation's fine.

Nick Murder:
No, are you circumcised?

Rosebud:
I heard you with Fryburg. He makes loud noises, and I hear them.

Constance:
He makes loud noises?

Rosebud:
Yeah, I wanna make them too. I told my psychiatrist.

Constance:
What?

Rosebud:
Well I had nothin' else to tell him so...

Fryburg:
HEY!

Constance:
Oh, f*** off, Fryburg.

Fryburg:
I'm a f***ing star!

Constance:
Did he do his Richard Gere for you, jumping all around in his jockstrap?

Fryburg:
GEAR!

Rosebud:
I love Richard Gere. He's hot.

Fryburg:
Hot chocolate!

Baby:
Dad?

Nick Murder:
Yeah.

Baby:
I'm going into wedlock.

Nick Murder:
Would you give me one more chance? Please? I'll do anything! Anything! I'll give you anything! I love you. Maybe I don't know how to show it like they do in the movies or in books but I love. I have love to give.

Cousin Bo:
I wanna buzz your butt.

Constance:
Porkchops!

Rosebud:
Porkchops!

Constance:
Lambchops!

Rosebud:
Lambchops!

Nick Murder:
Two, two things a man should know how to do...

Nick Murder:
Be romantic and smoke his brains out.

Gene Vincent:
I agree...

Tula:
[to Nick Murder] G-strings, push-up bras, teddies, garter belts, crotchless pantyhose. F*** bloomers. That's what I sell. To rich, tan, bored housewives who take the fat from the ass cheeks and inject it into their lips. You gonna kiss someone's ass then you should know that that's what you're kissing. Personally, I think that kissing's sexier than shagging, but you're sucking on chicken fat there. Not that their husbands mind. You know, they're out buying big homes, buying paintings, going to the f***in' opera, taking one up the bum for the queen while the misses are out sticking their fannies in my face. "Does my bum look big in this? Can you see my cellulite?" What they need, these women, is a good old-fashioned horse-f***. They can buy all the new panties they want, but they get stained, don't they? Stained panties are part of life no matter how hard you wipe.

Tula:
I think you're dead sexy. Not at first, then one day I looked up and saw you working with your shirt off and your gut out. That's a man, I said to meself. A real man. Someone to take me down the pub for a pint. You're way too old for me, but I figure you only go around once in life. I got, what, 75 years? Don't get hit by a bus. I want to kiss you, big man. Give you a big sloppy, wet kiss. You won't tell anyone that? Inch by inch the elephant f***ed the ant.

Tula:
When a woman bends over, a man sees a jelly doughnut. Her brain expands. His explodes. Dead on arrival in her powdered jelly doughnut.

Rosebud:
[singing] We are beautiful. We are not ugly.

Constance, Baby, Rosebud:
We are angry!

Kitty Kane:
[reading from a piece of paper] "If God's gift of grace, Or the light on your face, Could make me forget, Your vagina is wet."

Nick Murder:
Let me see that.

Kitty Kane:
"To Tula, my Tula, my red flower of love."

Nick Murder:
What are you, a private dick?

Kitty Kane:
How different could it be, huh? It's just a hole.

Nick Murder:
You can't incriminate a man over some words.

Kitty Kane:
What do you think you're gonna find there? Peanuts?

Baby:
You're the best kisser in the whole wide world, Fryburg.

Fryburg:
I'm gonna make out with your whole family, baby.

Cousin Bo:
We got the address. No last name. Find the love shack. You got a weapon? [Kitty holds up a pen knife] Maybe we should stop. Get somethin' bigger.

Kitty Kane:
I don't need somethin' bigger.