Romancing the Bride

Edwina:
Do not get in the way of my Connecticut grandbabies!

Edwina:
Nothing is impossible. "Impossible" is just "possible" with "I M" in front of it. "I - M - possible."

Edwina:
Can't a woman talk a little nonsense now and then?

Edwina:
What do you think your father would say if he saw you chained to this nearly naked Mexican man?

Carlos:
Hey, I'm wearing clothes.

Edwina:
That leave nothing to the imagination. I can practically see your religion, and it lists to the left.

Edwina:
Are you telling me that you got loaded and laid the day before your wedding? Who do you think you are, me?

Melissa:
[when her aunt asks who Carlos is] He's my hairstylist.

Carlos:
No I'm not.

Melissa:
Fine, hair designer. You know how uppidy the gays get when it comes to titles.

Carlos:
[handcuffed to Melissa] I married someone different! And I'd really like to know if she'll show up soon. Because I have better things to do than to be chained, to bridezilla... with a plan.