Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming

Pete Whittaker:
I counted them. There are nine of 'em!

Walt Whittaker:
Oh, come on, Pete.

Pete Whittaker:
Two of them got tommyguns. And they're all talking some foreign language. They could be Russians or something!

Elspeth Whittaker:
Pete, will you sit down and eat your breakfast, please?

Pete Whittaker:
Ask them if they're Russians!

Walt Whittaker:
Peter, be quiet.

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Very clever little boy. Very, very clever, to see that my friend and I are foreigners here, but of course not Russian, naturally. What would the Russians be doing on United States of America island, with so many animosities and hatreds between these two countries? It is too funny an idea, is it not? No, we, we are of course... Norwegians. On a small training exercise for the Nyaato countries--

Alexei Kolchin:
NATO.

Lieutenant Rozanov:
NATO countries, of course, yes. Ah, to reach place of power motorboats it is necessary to make borrowings of automobile, for a short time only, sir.

Walt Whittaker:
Uh, uh, may, may I ask you something, please?

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Yes, of course.

Walt Whittaker:
Are, are there nine of you out there, and are you all Russians with machine guns, and does one of you look like Uncle Ha-- I meant, look like a wrestler?

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Unnnnnnngh... I am sorry to, uh, comply with your statement, but misfortunately, all of the answers to these questions are... yes.

Alice Foss, Telephone Operator:
Well, I'm sorry to bother you, Chief Mattocks, but I just had a call from Muriel Everett.

Police Chief Link Mattocks:
What is it, what's she want?

Alice Foss, Telephone Operator:
She was shouting that I should call you, because according to her -- well, Muriel said the Russians have landed!

Police Chief Link Mattocks:
Want to give me that again, Alice?

Alice Foss, Telephone Operator:
Muriel said the Russians have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally!

Police Chief Link Mattocks:
Remember last time, when she called about that Peeping Tom -- you know who that was, don't you? It was that Luther Grilk's horse.

Walt Whittaker:
Look, can I give you some advice? You'll never make it down to the harbor. Why don't you all give yourselves up? Either you'll kill somebody, or you'll get killed. Either way -- you could start a war!

Lieutenant Rozanov:
What is your name?

Walt Whittaker:
Whittaker. Walt--

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Remark to this, Whittaker Walt. We must have boat. Even now may be too late. This is your island, I make your responsibility you help us get boat quickly, otherwise there is World War III, and everybody is blaming YOU!

Alexei Kolchin:
In Union of Soviet, when I am only young boy, many are saying, Americanski are bad people, they will attack Russia. So all mistrust American. But I think that I do not mistrust American... not really sinceriously. I wish not to hate... anybody!

Alexei Kolchin:
This make good reason to you, Alison Palmer?

Alison Palmer:
Well, of course it does. It doesn't make sense to hate people. It's such a waste of time.

Walt Whittaker:
I'm sorry, I-- I wasn't trying to-- Well, I-- I was trying to kill you, I'll admit that, but it wasn't-- I mean, it wasn't anything personal.

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Hmm... don't do it no more.

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Please, I know everybody on this island is complete and total crazy. But you, Whittaker Walt? You are crazy too?

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Always I am saying goodbye to you, and always I am meeting you again.

Lieutenant Rozanov:
Is great idea. I send my men fifty paces and BLOOEY! I congratulate you on extreme genius of this plan. Ptooey!

Officer Norman Jones:
We have...GOT...to get organized!

Police Chief Link Mattocks:
I thought all the nuts went home on Labor Day.