Scream: The TV Series

Seth Branson:
Or the same rotting flesh. Kieran's right. The gothic genre is all over TV right now. American Horror Story, Hannibal, Bates Motel.

Jake Fitzgerald:
What about Texas Chainsaw or Halloween?

Noah Foster:
Those are slasher movies. You can't do a slasher movie as a TV series.

[Everyones turns to Noah, Mr Branson then motions him to continue]

Noah Foster:
Think about it. Girl and her friend arrive at the dance, the camp, deserted town, whatever. Killer takes them out one-by-one. Ninety minutes later, the sun comes up and survivor girl sits in the ambulance watching her friends' bodies being wheeled past.

Nina Patterson:
[whispers frantically] Call 911.

Emma Duvall:
Hey Brooke, what's up?

Brooke Maddox:
Grief shopping. I need advice picking funeral nail polish. Can you help me?

Emma Duvall:
Should we take Noah?

Audrey Jensen:
Oh, god no. He'd be like a four year-old at Disneyland. We'd have to put a leash on him.

Emma Duvall:
Fair point.

Noah Foster:
Did you just try to tase my man parts?

Emma Duvall:
This place is huge!

Audrey Jensen:
Maybe we should split it up.

Emma Duvall:
Hey, that is not even remotely funny.

Audrey Jensen:
Just a thought.

Emma Duvall:
It's not funny.

Audrey Jensen:
Just messing with you.

Noah Foster:
Holy Christmas! Oh, I knew it. It's a genuine killer's lair.

Emma Duvall:
That's a thing?

Audrey Jensen:
Please don't get him started.

Noah Foster:
A lair is an extension of the killer's psychosis: the root cellar in Psycho, Kevin Spacey's apartment in Se7en, Hannibal Lecter's kitchen. I mean, every fictional killer has one.

Emma Duvall:
So he's been living here?

Noah Foster:
I highly doubt it. No, this looks staged. I mean, you see lairs on TV, not in real life. Take "Pretty Little Liars." They're always chock-full of bloody little clues and creepy, unrealistic icons. I mean, seriously, how would 'A' get her hands on four Victorian dolls that look just like the main characters? Where do you shop for that?

Audrey Jensen:
Evil American Girl doll store?

Noah Foster:
[scoffs] I can't believe you two came here without me.

Emma Duvall:
Yeah, you're right. After you.

Brooke Maddox:
You know, I don't think I'm gonna make it through this town hall thing. None of this waterproof mascara actually is.

Emma Duvall:
Come here. You can go a day without mascara.

[Brooke lays against Emma's lap]

Brooke Maddox:
Riley had those insane long lashes.

Emma Duvall:
Yeah. She never had to wear mascara.

Brooke Maddox:
That b*tch.

Noah Foster:
[reading from a text conversation with Riley] "Yes, my mom's on a kale kick."

Audrey Jensen:
That's disgusting.

Noah Foster:
I don't know, the Victorians had it right. I wish I had a lock of her hair, or something real. You know, not just pixels.

Audrey Jensen:
You have memories.

Noah Foster:
[reading from a text conversation with Riley] "Who would win in a cage match: Lady Gaga or Madonna?"

Audrey Jensen:
Oh, definitely Gaga.

Noah Foster:
Yeah. Gaga would totally win, right?

Audrey Jensen:
Kick her ass.

Noah Foster:
You know, maybe if I'd punched my v-card, the rules of horror would've kicked in. Maybe I'd be the one who died.

Audrey Jensen:
I don't think that's how it works. [pauses] I would offer to deflower you, but I'd just be taking advantage of your heightened emotional state and we can't have that.

Noah Foster:
[chuckles] Oh, thank you. That's very kind of you. No, I'd rather channel my anguish into something productive. [eyeing his video games] Maybe vigilante justice?

Audrey Jensen:
Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and the Virgin.

Noah Foster:
That's the world's saddest crime-fighting duo.

Audrey Jensen:
Hey, drinking on the job's a new thing for you.

Noah Foster:
They can't fire me. I'm the only one who knows how to reset the router.

Emma Duvall:
I got this in the mail. I think the killer's trying to send me some weird message.

Noah Foster:
A yearbook? That's not so weird.

[Emma opens the yearbook, revealing cut-out faces]

Noah Foster:
Oh, holy Manson family album!

Audrey Jensen:
That's a long ass list.

Noah Foster:
So, pretty much everybody's a suspect, including us.

Audrey Jensen:
Wait - where are you on that list?

Noah Foster:
Duh. I'm making the list.

[Noah stares menacingly at Audrey]

Audrey Jensen:
Nice resting-creep-face.

[Noah smiles]

Noah Foster:
Back atcha.

[Brooke looks up from reading a book]

Brooke Maddox:
I can't focus on "The Goodbye Girl" when my dad is doing "Gone Girl."

Noah Foster:
We found out the webcam malware came from his homework server, and he's using a fake name.

Emma Duvall:
Mr. Branson brings his soup to school in a thermos.

Noah Foster:
Villains have to eat too. Kingpin eats, the Joker eats, Bane probably doesn't because of his mask so it's probably some sort of like nutrient milkshake

Emma Duvall:
Hey, Noah, can we focus for one second?

Noah Foster:
Yes. Sorry.

Jake Fitzgerald:
Let's rip this Band-Aid off.

Noah Foster:
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful mutual tolerance.

Noah Foster:
He's definitely hiding something. I did some digging into Mr. Seth Branson. You know what I found?

Audrey Jensen:
He doesn't exist?

Noah Foster:
No. C'mon, it's 2015. I found four guys, none of whom are our Mr. Branson.

Audrey Jensen:
That's damning how?

Noah Foster:
This Mr. Branson didn't exist until he moved to Lakewood. You don't change your name unless you've got a secret.

Audrey Jensen:
Like trolling kids through their webcam to find a victim.

Noah Foster:
Exactly. Cops turn themselves inside out searching for logical suspects, but we could just be looking at your garden-variety psychopath.

Audrey Jensen:
Branson is Manson? I don't buy it.

Will Belmont:
This is my worst nightmare.

Jake Fitzgerald:
Mine's the one where you realize all your teeth are loose, but yeah having your junior high sex moves like all going viral is way worse.

Audrey Jensen:
You seriously need an off switch.

Noah Foster:
I know.

Piper Shay:
[on her podcast] The brutal murder of Will Belmont has forever changed the town of Lakewood. I came here as an outsider and then Will Belmont saved my life, so now I'm part of the story. So I can't even pretend to be objective anymore. Now I just want it to be over, and for the people I've come to know to find peace again.

Piper Shay:
Emma, I know you're going through hell but you're going to survive this.

Emma Duval:
You know what? Maybe it's actually better if I don't.

Piper Shay:
Don't think that.

Emma Duval:
He said that it ends with me so, let's just skip ahead to the ending.

Piper Shay:
You can't let this sadistic bastard win. If you're the key to all of this then you have to find a way to fight back.

Emma Duval:
I did, and he sliced Will in half right in front of me. [a beat] I don't know if I have any fight left.

Piper Shay:
Yes you do, because you come from a family of survivors. Your mom, your dad, and now you. Don't forget that.

Piper Shay:
I, uh, know that I said I would respect your privacy, but can I offer you some advice from someone whose dad is never coming back?

[Emma nods]

Piper Shay:
Second chances are rare. Don't waste them.

Audrey Jensen:
So if Branson is the killer, why would he take a job at a school instead of somewhere below the radar?

Noah Foster:
Hiding in plain sight. Think about it, his classroom is one-stop victim shopping. Pick one, slay one, console one, then repeat.

Audrey Jensen:
Okay, what's his criteria?

Noah Foster:
Archetypes, you know? Because Nina was the Queen B, Tyler: the rebel, Riley was the brain and now Will, the jock.

Audrey Jensen:
If he is killing off the members of The Breakfast Club, the only one left is the raccoon-eyed, weird girl who only wears black.

Noah Foster:
Or the weird girl's girlfriend, which might make sense with Rachel. [a beat] Okay, maybe not, but if Branson's thrill is hiding in plain sight and the classroom is his cover, then it stands to reason that he'd want his tools of the trade handy.

Audrey Jensen:
Well, he was awfully anxious when he found us in there alone.

Noah Foster:
Maybe it's time to dig a little deeper.

Mayor Quinn Maddox:
We are a family, Brooke. If one of us gets hurt, we all get hurt.

Brooke Maddox:
Yeah, and I'm left to pick up the pieces.

Mayor Quinn Maddox:
I'm sorry, sweetheart, but we are going to survive this. You'll stay with the Fitzgerald's for now. Just be strong until we can all be back together again.

Brooke Maddox:
Maybe we shouldn't.

[Brooke turns to leave]

Mayor Quinn Maddox:
Brooke? Brooke, wait.

Brooke Maddox:
Goodbye, daddy.

Noah Foster:
Holy Dexter's air conditioner!

Jake Fitzgerald:
Who could resist a murder selfie?

Noah Foster:
Which is what the killer is counting on.

Seth Branson:
Alright Will Gram, what is this killer's design?

Noah Foster:
Well, murder is a lonely game, you know. I mean say you're the killer OK, you sneak into Nina's house, scult around, scare her and then you kill her. Boom, but then what? Take a victory lap around the pool? You just stand watching the blood spread out in the water, thinking crazy guy stuff.

Brooke Maddox:
Creepy monologue alert.

Riley Marra:
So maybe it's no good if he's the only one watching.

Noah Foster:
Exactly, yeah, uh, it's the age of Instragram, YouTube and Tumblr. I mean we need to share the things we do or it's like it never happened.

[Riley gets a text on her phone and takes her phone out to read it]

Seth Branson:
Riley, phones off.

Riley Marra:
Sorry Mr. B. But my friend from St Mary's texted, a girl who goes there died!

[Everyone is shocked, especially Audrey who immediately checks her phone]

Brooke Maddox:
No way! Who was it?

Jake Fitzgerald:
How'd it happen?

Riley Marra:
It doesn't say.

Seth Branson:
I'm sorry to hear that. But why do we get back to...

Audrey Jensen:
[while gets up from her seat] I've uh.

Audrey Jensen:
[starts to run out of the room and leaves] got to go to the bathroom!

Seth Branson:
Actually, we could all use a minute.

Noah Foster:
Oh, jeez! You're like a ninja!

Riley Marra:
That's racist.

Jake Fitzgerald:
This place is big. We should split up finding Will.

Noah Foster:
Said no one who survived a horror movie ever.

Jake Fitzgerald:
On a scale of one to ten, exactly how mad are you at me?

Brooke Maddox:
Eleventy.

Noah Foster:
Cue creepy murder music. I knew I was missing something.

Nina Patterson:
[whisphers frantically] Call 911.

Riley Marra:
It's just crazy that we were talking about slasher movies in Language Arts. And then Nina gets slashed.

Noah Foster:
Well technically she was already dead when we started that conversation. So there's no direct correlation.

Noah Foster:
Gotta remember that the whodunit may not be as important in our story... You need to figure that it's a horror story, that someone might die at every turn. You have to care if the smokin' hot lit teacher seems a little too interested in his female students. You have to care if the team wins the big game. You have to care if the smart, pretty girl forgives the dumb jock.

Riley Marra:
Sounds like Friday Night Lights

Noah Foster:
Exactly. You root for them, you love them, so when they are brutally murdered, it hurts.

Noah Foster:
This is insane. We are willingly driving into certain danger without a police escort.

Emma Duval:
The cops can't help us.

Noah Foster:
Really? Because I'm pretty sure they've got, like, big-ass guns and body armor and SWAT teams. This is America.

Emma Duval:
Noah, he said no cops, okay? We have to finish this ourselves.

Noah Foster:
Okay. Well, if this is the final showdown, the killer's gonna try and take out every single one of your friends, one by one until you're the only one that's left. Because you're the survivor girl, which makes me the know-it-all sidekick. Oh, crap. I'm gonna die.

Emma Duval:
You're not going to die! Tonight, we change the ending.

[SPOILER:
]

Emma Duval:
I'm here. Just like you wanted. No more games. No more masks.

[Ghostface takes his mask off, revealing Piper]

Piper Shaw:
Hey, sis. Surprise.

Emma Duval:
Piper?

Piper Shaw:
Oh, I seriously wish that you could see your face right now. Hashtag mind blown.

Emma Duval:
No, you can't be.

Piper Shaw:
I can.

Emma Duval:
So when we were bonding about your dad being murdered, you were talking about Brandon James.

Piper Shaw:
Yes. And you were so easily convinced that it had to be his son that was swinging the knife, but it's 2015, Emma. Sexist much?

Brooke Maddox:
Audrey? Hey. Did not expect to see you here.

Audrey Jensen:
That makes two of us. Nice mask. Big plans later?

Brooke Maddox:
It's tempting. I mean, some psycho wears this to kill our friends, and people treat it like it's a joke.

Audrey Jensen:
That's because people generally suck.

Killer:
Hello, Emma. Enjoying the dance?

Emma Duval:
Let him go, okay? This is about you and me.

Killer:
Oh, I don't think so. Tonight's the big finale, Emma. Gotta make sure everybody's watching the horror show. People want to see blood, and I'm gonna give it to 'em.

Emma Duval:
I'm gonna find him. And then I'm gonna find you, you sick son of a b*tch.

Killer:
Then let's see what you've learned, Emma. Can you put all the pieces together in time to save him? Or will Daisy's heart be broken the way she broke Brandon's? It's up to you. But I can promise you one thing: it's gonna be gut-wrenching.

Brooke Maddox:
So, uh, what brings you to my pity party?

Audrey Jensen:
I found something that looks like Emma might be sleeping with the enemy, but she didn't want to hear it, and I didn't want to see it.

Brooke Maddox:
No. Kieran can't be the killer. He's too pretty. Although, I guess Ted Bundy kind of proved that hotness doesn't cancel out crazy.

Audrey Jensen:
True. I just don't wanna see her get hurt.

Emma Duval:
Are you calling to gloat?

Killer:
Not at all. You finally got a win.

Emma Duval:
Just cut to the chase, okay? This is the big finale, right? So here I am. Come and get me.

Killer:
Small catch, Emma. It's not just you that I want.

Emma Duval:
What?

Killer:
Yes. I told you it started with Daisy, but it ends with you! Can't have one without the other.

Emma Duval:
Oh, my god. Where is she?

Killer:
You're a smart girl, Emma. Figure it out.

Emma Duval:
[thinking for a moment] Where it ended for Brandon James. The dock at Wren Lake.

Killer:
Just you, Emma, or others will die!

[SPOILER:
]

Emma Duval:
You pretended to help me. You pretended to be my friend.

Piper Shaw:
And it stings when someone breaks your trust. Right, mom? My dad trusted you, and look how that turned out. Dad got shot, I got tossed, and Emma got the perfect life.

Maggie Duval:
Piper, I swear to you, I never meant for Brandon to get hurt. I was trying to protect him.

Piper Shaw:
You were trying to protect yourself! For twenty years, you have let everyone think that my dad was the monster, but you were the monster.

Maggie Duval:
You're right. But they were my mistakes, not Emma's. If you wanna hurt someone, hurt me.

Piper Shaw:
I plan on it. But I have kind of put a lot of thought and time into this, so I'd like to savor the moment a little bit before I slice you open, okay?

Emma Duval:
I get it. I get it! You hate us! But why did you kill my friends? They had nothing to do with this!

Piper Shaw:
To watch you suffer, Emma. Although they did help a lot. After all, what did your BFFs do? They filmed your first time. I mean, the day that your video accidentally went viral and I was right there to see it happen?

[Piper inhales in satisfied contentment]

Piper Shaw:
Priceless.

[SPOILER:
]

Emma Duval:
They're gonna figure out who did this.

Piper Shaw:
No, they won't. Because the bad guy did it. And I have him back there, tied up in my trunk.

Emma Duval:
You framed Branson.

Piper Shaw:
Do you know one benefit of stripping off masks is sometimes you find the perfect fall guy. Do you wanna know how his story ends? Branson slits Emma's throat in front of Mom, before spilling Mom's guts. But not before Emma gets a good stabbing with the knife that she has hidden behind her back.

[Emma shows Piper the knife]

Piper Shaw:
Yeah. Fingerprints, sis. Rookie move. So then I'm gonna stumble out of the bloodbath and I'm gonna broadcast to the world that the Lakewood Slasher is dead.

[SPOILER:
]

Noah Foster:
Hey, guys, this is Noah Foster, local student and survivor of the Lakewood Slasher murders, guest podcasting the final chapter of "Autopsy of a Crime" for your former host, the now deceased criminal mastermind behind the killings, Piper Shaw. So, having made it to the end of our very own slasher movie, I think we're all just processing what we've lost and how to move on. Staring death in the face has a way of making you want to be a little more forgiving. Maybe we'll find that the loss of someone we loved may lead to the promise of someone new. Maybe we'll see this as a second chance to do things differently and make a change for the good. Or to wipe the slate clean and reinvent ourselves as someone new. At the end of the day, we're all just grateful that it's over and that the Lakewood Slasher is dead, but there's still one thing I can't figure out. Piper Shaw confessed to her crimes in classic villain fashion, but she didn't explain who attacked her and Will Belmont in that abandoned building. I mean, sure, she could have banged herself on the head and made up the story, but Will confirmed it later. Much as I love a good Hollywood ending, I can't help but wonder who was wearing the mask that night? Am I just overthinking it? Or is there more to come?

Noah Foster:
[Noah is looking for Audrey. He turns a corner and sees a pool of blood] Oh, man. Maybe someone just spilled their wine. Their thick, viscous red wine.

Piper Shay:
[opening lines] Hey guys, it's Piper Shaw with a special Halloween podcast of "Autopsy of a Crime." So, in looking for a connection between the Lakewood murders past and present, I had to wonder about Brandon's mask. Turns out, it disappeared from county evidence last year, but was never reported. If I were Sheriff Hudson, I'd be looking into the chief suspect's whereabouts around the time the mask went missing. But even then, what's Seth Branson's - or rather, Seth Palmer's - connection to Brandon James? Why become the monster behind the mask?

Jake Fitzgerald:
Extra towels are here, coconut water in the mini. Uh, WiFi password is "TheJakeStopsHere."

Brooke Maddox:
[chuckles] 'Course it is.

Seth Branson:
Hello, Emma.

Noah Foster:
Well, what happened when you sat across from him? I want the fava-bean-by-fava-bean recap.

Emma Duval:
Look, Audrey, I know you want the truth. So let's find it.

Audrey Jensen:
Let's just prove it beyond a doubt.

Noah Foster:
Bi-curious and the Virgin are on it.

Noah Foster:
Time for a raw footage film festival. [unenthusiastically] Yay!

[watching raw footage]

Noah Foster:
Never thought the life and times of a sexually-confused Catholic girl could be so dry.

Audrey Jensen:
You wanna feel the sting of this sexually-confused Atheist's foot up your butt?

Noah Foster:
Hey, hey! I made you microwave popcorn, remember?

Audrey Jensen:
[wryly] Uh-huh.

Audrey Jensen:
Rachel might be gone but I'm going to make sure she is never forgotten.

[DJing as Dracula at a Halloween party]

Noah Foster:
Come into the light, my children! [Cackles] Let me hear you scream!

[At a Halloween party]

Noah Foster:
[as Dracula] Ah, yes. A proper Steampunk lady with a soup?on of goth.

Audrey Jensen:
And you're a master of ceremonies.

Noah Foster:
I was gonna be the Babadook, but then my mom made this cape. I couldn't break her heart.

Noah Foster:
What? He's not gonna kill her during the dance sequence.

Piper Shay:
So, Noah Foster, do you think that Brandon James just snapped that night?

Noah Foster:
Nobody just snaps. I mean, a bomb doesn't become a bomb when the wick is lit.

Piper Shay:
So if Tyler O'Neil is behind the mask and the GIF, is this an homage?

Noah Foster:
In my humble opinion, nobody puts on a mask and commits a murder like that just once. The real question is: who's next?

Audrey Jensen:
What if you wrote him back?

Emma Duvall:
What?

Audrey Jensen:
If this psycho did kill Rachel, I want to know the reason why. He DM'ed you, right?

Emma Duvall:
Yeah.

Audrey Jensen:
He opened a line. Let's direct message his ass back.

Riley Marra:
Still haven't heard from Noah. Everything was going great on the football field, then he raced off like the McRib was back.

Brooke Maddox:
He's clearly afraid to make a move, and you're to gorg' for these romantic Special Olympics.

Riley Marra:
[scoffs] Don't be mean.

Brooke Maddox:
Not mean. Brutally honest. It's a different shade of mean.

Audrey Jensen:
If you suggest the pool scene from "Wild Things," I will end you.

Kieran Wilcox:
You have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.

Emma Duvall:
You can't say things like that.

Kieran Wilcox:
No, you're right. I really can't.

Emma Duvall:
Alright, so "Fault In Our Stars" is also a no.

[Jake sneaks up behind Brooke and covers her eyes]

Jake Fitzgerald:
Christian Grey's Red Room of Pain awaits you!

Brooke Maddox:
Ew. That would literally be like doing my brother.

Jake Fitzgerald:
Ah, so Game of Thrones? I'm cool with that!

[Emma answers a call from a blocked number]

Emma Duvall:
Hello.

Killer:
Hello, Emma. Got your DM. I'll answer your questions when I'm ready. So, did mommy give you the answers you were looking for?

Emma Duvall:
I'm calling the police

Killer:
Say anything and I will gut her.

Emma Duvall:
What do you want from me?

Killer:
Isn't it obvious? I want your trust, Emma.

Emma Duvall:
Why the hell would I trust you?

Killer:
Because I'm the only one around here telling you the truth.

Emma Duvall:
You're sick. I am done playing your games, and I am done with you. [hangs up the phone]

Noah Foster:
Riley, where are you? Just look around you. Tell me what you can see.

Riley Marra:
I can... see our stars.

Zoë Vaughn:

Okay, your turn. Ready?

Noah Foster:

Yeah. Yeah I'm ready.

Zoë Vaughn:

You're in a rocket. It's at it's apptegy. You're in that moment where everything is perfectly still. Right before you're about to fall. Do you feel it?

Noah Foster:

I feel... Dizzy. Weightless.

Zoë Vaughn:

There's a window. And you can see the earth below. It's a blue swirling marble. It's so beautiful.

Noah Foster:

Wow.

Zoë Vaughn:

And I'm there with you.

Naoh Foster:

Forever.