Sherlock Holmes and the Leading Lady

Mycroft Holmes:
Thieves have stolen the plans and prototype for an electro-magnetic bomb detonator just as they were being purchased by Britain. The inventor died in an attempt to retrieve them. There is no way to recreate the device. The machine is so... appalling that only Britain can be trusted not to put it to use.

Sherlock Holmes:
I think you should go to Viena yourself, Mycroft.

Mycroft Holmes:
Come, Sherlock, you very well know that I am not the man to run here and there, to cross-question witnesses, to lie on my face with a lens to my eye, no! The preservation of the civilized world is at stake, and you, and you alone can save it.

Mycroft Holmes:
How soon can you depart?

Sherlock Holmes:
Watson, why are you not packing our bags?

Dr. Watson:
Ah, yes!

Dr. Watson:
I can't speak for you, sir, but I have no unconscious mind.

Dr. Sigmund Freud:
On the contrary, I might suggest you are entirely unconscious.

Sherlock Holmes:
Touch?.

Sherlock Holmes:
There is never a good reason to conceal the truth.

Eberhardt Bohm:
But if a lady involved...

Sherlock Holmes:
Haha! An answer I have heard all too oft.

Eberhardt Bohm:
Then you must hear it again.

Dr. Watson:
I can't smell a thing since I fell into that canal.

Emperor Franz Joseph:
Not only have we followed your adventures, Mr. Holmes, but the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire once kept us waiting for dinner whilst he finished one of the stories of your exploits in the Strand magazine. [laughs]

Sherlock Holmes:
[bows] I am honored, your majesty. And surprised.

Dr. Watson:
But he did burgle your room.

Sherlock Holmes:
I'm afraid not. The hairs don't match, it was someone else altogether.

Dr. Sigmund Freud:
Answer this: what is the room we leave without entering, the room we enter without leaving?

Sherlock Holmes:
We are on urgent business, Doctor, I have no time for riddles.

Dr. Sigmund Freud:
Could this be because you do not know the answer?

Dr. Sigmund Freud:
The room that we leave without entering is the womb. And the room that we enter without leaving, is the tomb.

Laszlo Karparti:
And what is your offer, Mr. Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes:
I will not bargain like a common huckster. I can only appeal to your sense of morality. [Karparti laughs up'roariously]

Irene Frances Adler:
I've come to understand that you are not going to change. And I promise I won't try to change you.

Sherlock Holmes:
Kind of you. [about to take a sip from his champagne]

Irene Frances Adler:
So why don't we get married. [Holmes almost chokes on his drink]

Elliott Ness:
Allow me to introduce my self. Ned Elliot, an alias. My Christian name is Elliot. My surname is...

Sherlock Holmes:
[interrupting] Ness. Elliot Ness. United States Department of alcohol and firearms.

Sherlock Holmes:
How did you...

Elliott Ness:
[another interruption] You gave yourself away, young man, the first time that we met when you pretended that you didn't know who I was. Everyone knows who I am.

Sherlock Holmes:
And now, thanks to your ineptitude, Mr. Ness, the one remaining link to the prototype lies dead, and we stand here without the faintest idea of the identity of the intended victim.

Elliott Ness:
I'm sorry, it's my first case.

Dr. Watson:
What a surprise.

Sherlock Holmes:
Well I hope the Emperor Franz Joseph's desire for peace rub off on his ally, the Kaizer.

Mycroft Holmes:
My own calculations suggest that a war of world wide proportions would have begun, had you not succeeded.

Dr. Watson:
Absurd! Needless alarmism.

Mycroft Holmes:
Doctor, I hope you're right. Good day.

Dr. Watson:
Holmes, you are not seriously thinking of marrying that Adler woman, are you?

Sherlock Holmes:
Watson, as you well know, I am not the marrying kind. Yet... a son...

Sherlock Holmes:
Elementary, my dear Mr. Simpson-Makepeace