Significant Others

Alex:
[Alex is trying to explain something to the spanish speaking maid Carlotta] So I just wanted to talk to you about Rodney. Devon and I are going to take over driving him to school every morning, so you don't have to do it anymore.

Carlotta:
You're going to go to driving school today?

Alex:
School, yes. Driving, yes.

Carlotta:
Driving School.

Alex:
[Devon enters] Baby, Baby, she's not understanding the driving Rodney to school thing.

Devon:
Uh. No necesitamos, uh, drive, uh, our chiclet to school.

Carlotta:
Chiclet is bubble gum.

Devon:
[to Alex] See there's a couple different types of Spanishes.

Carlotta:
No, no, no, no.

Devon:
There's like Castilian and then there's plain old Mexican.

James:
[James is stuck in a cab in traffic leaving a message for Chelsea] Sweetie, in that last message when I said that you were annoying, I didn't mean that YOU were annoying. So much as it's, it's, the world is annoying sometimes, and you're, you are my world.

Connie:
He's not a loser who's losing. He's a loser who's winning.

Bill:
Like George Bush.

Ethan:
Who's your daddy?

Eleanor:
You.

Ethan:
That's weird.

Devon:
Who's your daddy?

Alex:
I wish I knew.

Eleanor:
I bet that every couple who comes in here, is just asking the same question that we were asking. Which is: "Did I marry the right person?"

James:
Hey Cynthia, how are you?

Cynthia:
I'm good. How are you?

James:
I'm good. I'm good.

Cynthia:
So where's this Bob?

James:
Oh he's coming, he's on his way. You look, uh, different. More covered up than normal.

Cynthia:
It's a little cold out.

James:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
I hope that's okay.

James:
No, no, its the red, is very, its bright. It's like a...baboon's ass or something.

Cynthia:
Ha ha 'k.

James:
That came out wrong.

Cynthia:
[awkward silence] Where's Chels?

James:
Chelsea's, yeah she's in the um in the bathroom.

Cynthia:
Okay.

James:
All right, off you go. [under breath] Get out of my kitchen.

James:
Uh, I've been talking to some people, this is a kind of weird icebreaker, but...how many people have you slept with? Like, lifetime.

Lauren:
[Long pause] I dunno, how big's your penis? You know that's something I wouldn't ask you because uh, it's inappropriate.

James:
Yeah.

Lauren:
But I guess if I wanted to know the answer to that question I could ask your wife.

James:
You could.

Lauren:
Is that a real ring on your finger or is it just like a hoax?

James:
No, it's a real ring.

Lauren:
Oh, ok, so you're married

James:
Yeah.

Lauren:
And you're flirting with me.

James:
Yeah well I'm recently married, so I didn't think that...

Lauren:
[Sarcastically] Oh recently married!

James:
Right.

Lauren:
Oh well then forget I said anything!

James:
You were flirting with me so I just thought, well I'll flirt back to get to know this person.

Lauren:
That's so sweet of you. That's so kind and generous.

James:
I wasn't trying to get you into bed or anything. The idea Lauren...

Lauren:
Right. You seem like a really great guy.

James:
I am a really great guy...

Lauren:
That's so generous of you.

James:
And you seem very observant to have picked up on that.