Sleeper

Miles Monroe:
I' haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almost be cured by now.

Miles Monroe:
I'm what you would call a teleological, existential atheist. I believe that there's an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.

Luna Schlosser:
I think we should have had sex, but there weren't enough people.

Herald Cohen:
That's deep! You're SO obviously influenced by McKuen.

Luna Schlosser:
I'm great physically. I got a Ph.D. in oral sex.

Miles Monroe:
Yeah, they make you take any Spanish with that?

Miles Monroe:
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

Luna Schlosser:
Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe, that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?

Miles Monroe:
Right.

Luna Schlosser:
So, then what do you believe in?

Miles Monroe:
Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. But at least after death you are not nauseous.

Miles Monroe:
My brain! It's my second favorite organ!

Miles Monroe:
Yes. That's exactly what it was.

Miles Monroe:
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies." She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.

Miles Monroe:
Don't take another step or the president gets it between the eyes.

Miles Monroe:
Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you, if you like.

Luna Schlosser:
Okay. I just thought you might want to; they have a machine here.

Miles Monroe:
Machine? I'm not getting into that thing. I, I'm strictly a hand operator; you know, I, I... I don't like anything with moving parts that are not my own.

Luna Schlosser:
It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for 200 years.

Miles Monroe:
204, if you count my marriage.

Luna Schlosser:
Miles, do you know that "God" spelled backwards is "dog"?

Miles Monroe:
So?

Luna Schlosser:
It makes you think.

Miles Monroe:
Luna, help me push the car.

Miles:
You're a sucker. What you didn't realize is that you're dealing with one of the greatest minds you've ever seen.

Luna:
Yeah, and his isn't so bad either!

Miles Monroe:
We're here to see the nose. I hear it was running.

Miles Monroe:
I'm Not Really The Heroic Type. I was beat up by Quakers.

Miles Monroe:
Where am I anyhow, I mean, what happened to everybody, where are all my friends?

Dr. Aragon:
You must understand that everyone you knew in the past has been dead nearly two hundred years.

Miles Monroe:
But they all ate organic rice!

Miles Monroe:
This was Josef Stalin. He was a communist, I was not too crazy about him, had a bad mustache, lot of bad habits. This is Bela Lugosi. he was, he was the mayor of New York city for a while, you can see what it did to him there, you know. This is, uhm, this is, uh, Charles DeGaulle, he, he was a very famous French chef, had his own television show, showed you how to make souflets and omelettes and everything.

Luna Schlosser:
You were screaming out different names in your sleep.

Miles Monroe:
I was having sexual nightmares.

Miles Monroe:
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.

Miles Monroe:
You remind me of Lisa Sorenson

Luna Schlosser:
Who?

Miles Monroe:
An old girfriend from the village. A troskyite, who became a Jesus freak, and was arrested for selling pornographic connect-the-dot books.