Small Wonder

Harriet Brindle:
[Jaime had asked Harriet to go and buy him a pineapple, when they are currently out of season, Harriet however returns with a pineapple] Hey Jaime! guess what? I found a pineapple.

Jamie Lawson:
Ooooh noooo.

Harriet Brindle:
It cost me a months allowance at the gourmet restaurant, but for you, it was worth it.

Reggie Williams:
[laughing] Jaime, remember what you said? that if Harriet found a pineapple between here and Hawaii, you'd marry her?

Harriet Brindle:
He did? I accept.

Harriet Brindle:
Hi father -in law

[hugs Mr. Lawson]

Harriet Brindle:
Hi mother - in law

[hugs Mrs. Lawson]

Harriet Brindle:
Hi sister - in law

[hugs Vicky]

Reggie Williams:
Hey yo Jamie. Your sister's talking to the princesses. Boy, are they foxy.

Jamie Lawson:
Yeah, they're probably using her to get to me.

Reggie Williams:
Yeah, right. That's like using Cher to get to Pee Wee Herman.

[imitating a snobby girl]

Vicki the Robot:
We don't have skeleton's in our closet... they're in the back of the condo.

[repeated line]

Joan Lawson:
That makes sense.

[repeated line]

Mrs. Brindle:
No na na no no no!

Bonnie Brindle:
[Repeated Line] No,no,no,no,no,no.

Joan Lawson:
[When Vicki returns, after been unexpectedly missing for some time] You scared the life out of us! Are you alright, darling?

Vicki the Robot:
[In her monotonous robotic tone] I am alright, darling.

Ted Lawson:
Vicki, where were you?

Vicki the Robot:
[Remembering Harriet's instructions to lie] I was in the backyard or something.

Jamie Lawson:
She must have followed me out.

Ted Lawson:
What were you doing all this time?

Vicki the Robot:
Scaring the life out of you.

Vicki the Robot:
[Imitating Betty Davis' cigarette gesture] Peter! Peter! Peter!

Jamie Lawson:
Blow it out. [Cigarette smoke, billows out of Vicki's ears]

Peter Watson:
You're not cool smokers, cigarettes are kids stuff.

Jamie Lawson:
[after taking a drag] Do I look like, the Marlboro man?

Reggie Williams:
No, you look more like, Virginia Slim.

Joan Lawson:
I can see all of us at the alter. I'll say "I Do", and she'll say "I Do-do-do-do-do-do"!

Ted Lawson:
Honey, just forget the Brindles. It's still our wedding. We're going in first, they bring up the rear. After they play "The Wedding March" for us, they play "Send In The Clowns" for them!

Jamie Lawson:
Hi!

Ted Lawson:
I'll bet you are!

Harriet Brindle:
Look into my eyes. When you hear the word "Harriet", you will throw yourself into my arms!

Jamie Lawson:
When I hear the word "Harriet", I will throw myself in front of a truck!

Vicki the Robot:
The next exercise is called desensitization. Keep saying this sentence until it doesn't bother you to stutter. It's a tongue twister.

Paula:
Everything I say is a... tongue... twister. [reads] "Peter... Piper... p... picked a p... pe... pe... puh... puh... Do I... have to do this?

Vicki the Robot:
Yes. Keep Peter Piper picking peppers, Paula.

Jamie Lawson:
Vicki, Vicki, Vicki. I might as well be invisible.

Ted Lawson:
[bumps into Jamie] Sorry, Jamie, I didn't see you.

Jamie Lawson:
I am invisible!

Jamie Lawson:
[Shows his previous homework to Vicki] Can you copy it?

Vicki the Robot:
[In her robotic tone] I can copy anything I can read.

Jamie Lawson:
Terrific!

Vicki the Robot:
[Comments at Jamie's handwriting] This I cannot read.

Joan Lawson:
I have, a terrible thought. What if, Vicki stays with us, for a long time? When Jamie, starts to grow and she'll remain the same size.

Ted Lawson:
No, she won't. Watch, she don't have to be plugged in, for a wired remote. [Clicks buttons, and Vicki grows tall]

Joan Lawson:
Oh! Ted, that's incredible!

Ted Lawson:
I can make her, smaller too. [Clicks buttons, and Vicki shrinks tiny]

Joan Lawson:
Oh! Make her normal, please!

Vicki the Robot:
[In chipmunk voice] Make me normal, please.

Ted Lawson:
Okay, okay. [clicks buttons, and Vicki grows normal]

Jamie Lawson:
[Patted Vicki's bloated belly] She looks, like a beach ball.

Vicki the Robot:
This bud's, for you. [Nibbles on a rose]

Harriet Brindle:
How did, you get so fat?

Vicki the Robot:
I got bit, from a bee in a bus.

Ted Lawson:
[after Jamie bounces his basketball in the kitchen] What did I just say about playing in the house?

Jamie Lawson:
Sorry, Dad. Bad habits are hard to break.

Ted Lawson:
Well, if you don't break that bad habit, before you break something in the house, I am just liable to break something on your rear end.

Vicki the Robot:
[In her robotic voice] His rear end gets the message.

Joan Lawson:
[Repeated Line] That, makes sense.

Joan Lawson:
[Knocking on door] Oh, honey can you, get that?

Harriet Brindle:
Hi, Jamie!

Jamie Lawson:
Hi, Harriet. [Slams the door, on her]

Joan Lawson:
Jamie, that was rude! That's not, a good way to treat your neighbor.

Jamie Lawson:
I'm sorry, mom. But, she deserves it. Harriet's a pill and, she's nosy. What a waste of womanhood.

Jamie Lawson:
[after Ted, shows Joan and Jamie Vicki's insides] She's got wires in there instead, of gizzards.