Stuart Saves His Family

Stuart Smalley:
I deserve good things, I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.

Stuart Smalley:
But today, I've decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater. It was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it herself; she said it gave her something to do with her hands.

Stuart Smalley:
I'm going to die homeless and penniless. I'm still five pounds overweight. No one will ever love me. I could just kill myself.

Julia:
Stuart, that is just "stinkin' thinkin'."

Stuart Smalley:
Oh, Julia, you don't know Roz. She's like a cootie, or something.

Stuart Smalley:
"Dear Stuart, your show gave me the courage to feel my feelings, and to feel my feelings about my feelings, and my feelings about my feelings about my feelings. And my... "

Stuart Smalley:
"God bless you, Amanda Q."

Stuart Smalley:
Okay, Jodie, I would never ordinally say this, but... is there any way you can get to a pound cake?

Stuart Smalley:
So, basically, the strategy is: you get me to lie, because if I don't, everyone goes to jail for perjury?

Stuart Smalley:
Because what they say is true -- it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

Mom Smalley:
If I do this, and it doesn't work, he's going to make my life hell.

Intervention Counseler:
How's your life now?

Dad Smalley:
God, you'd drink too, if you had Liberace for a son.

Stuart Smalley:
When it comes to partying, no one gets down like people in recovery.

Stuart Smalley:
As they say in Al-Anon: Trace it. Face it. And Erase it.

Julia:
We'd all like to go home and save our families, but we can't. We're just not that powerful.

Stuart Smalley:
As we say in program: progress, not perfection.