Summer School

Chainsaw:
You passed and I failed! You a**hole! How could you do that to me?

Dave:
It was an accident. I'll take it again. I can fail, I know I can.

Chainsaw:
We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.

Chainsaw:
Reality is so unreal.

Dave:
But it is a nice change.

Chainsaw:
True. Two thumbs up.

Dave:
This menstruation thing? It's a scam! Women are so lucky.

Chainsaw:
Can I call my mom and tell her I won't be home... ever?

Phil Gills:
Would someone tell me what Mr. Shoop had planned for today?

Chainsaw:
Group sex. No, that's tomorrow. Today is independent study. Right after our mid-morning nap.

Shoop:
Please take your seats.

Chainsaw:

Pam:
You want us to study?

Shoop:
The thought did cross my mind.

Denise:
Well, what's in it for us? What do we get out of it?

Shoop:
Literacy?

Shoop:
Your teacher was arrested for giving vodka to students... on roller skates.

Phil Gills:
Oh my god. What are you watching?

Shoop:
"Safe use of power tools".

Shoop:
Hey, I remember you. Where you been?

Jerome Watkins:
Bathroom.

Shoop:
Six weeks?

Jerome Watkins:
My zipper got stuck.

Phil Gills:
What is wrong with you people?

Dave:
It's just like you said Gills! We're psychopaths! Somebody better call the school nurse!

Shoop:
Francis Gremp?

Chainsaw:
Don't ever call me that, the name's "Chainsaw".

Shoop:
As in "Black and Decker"?

Chainsaw:
As in "Texas Massacre".

Shoop:
Where are my car keys?

Chainsaw:
There somewhere in this room. Right now you're ice cold.

Chainsaw:
Our next field trip has to be to the beach.

Dave:
We have to see Annamaria in a bikini, it's very important.

Pam:
So, you're all alone and you like young girls.

Chainsaw's Sister:
How do you spell "cat"?

Chainsaw:
I don't know!

Mrs. Gremp:
How do you want your eggs? Fried, or scrambled?

Chainsaw:
I don't know. What are eggs?

Chainsaw:
Tension-breaker. Had to be done.