Team Knight Rider

Kid:
So, why aren't you wearing uniforms like real superheroes?

Erica West:
They're really uncomfortable.

Kid:
But Power Rangers always wear their uniforms.

Erica West:
We'll work on it, OK kid? Enough about the damn uniforms.

Kid:
Do you have superpowers?

Duke DePalma:
No.

Kid:
Secret identities?

Duke DePalma:
No.

Kid:
Do you wear capes?

Duke DePalma:
No... but, we do have cool cars.

Dante:
This whole TKR program went to hell the day they started making female cars.

Domino:
How's your new driver, Dan?

Dante:
Ah, the Bimbo Mobile is developing a sense of humor.

Duke DePalma:
Nice going, Beast. You really came through for me.

Beast:
Are you OK, Jenny?

Erica West:
Shouldn't you be programmed to happily sacrifice yourselves for the team?

Dante:
Was that supposed to be funny?

Domino:
Are you out of your mind?

Plato:
Give me a break.

Kat:
No way!

Narrator - Opening Titles:
Ten years ago, all it took was one man and one car to get the job done. Now, the Foundation for Law and Government has assembled five highly skilled operatives, and paired them with the most advanced state-of-the-art vehicles, to take on a new breed of outlaw. They are Team Knight Rider.

Dante:
Kyle, I wish you would reconsider. We don't even know who this Shadow gentleman is!

Beast:
For once, I agree with the Limey. You guys are walking into a trap!

Duke DePalma:
He's got a point. Secret rendezvous and deserted office buildings isn't my idea of a safe bet!

Kyle Stewart:
If Shadow wanted to hurt us, he already would have.

Erica West:
Kyle's right! This guy got onto SKY 1, and into my quarters, without even breaking a sweat!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
Right - we all know hard it is for a guy to break into Erica's quarters!

Erica West:
[Opening the door of a white Ford KA] What's KA?

Gil:
K. A. Stands for Knight Alpha. It's a prototype TKR international vehicle.

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
FLAG created him for a potential Euro Knight rider operation.

Erica West:
Brilliant! They couldn't come up with a common currency, and now we're giving em supercars!

Kyle Stewart:
He's awaiting shipment to Berlin, to hook up with his new driver.

Erica West:
[Looking inside] Who are they going to get - Danny DeVito?

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
Looks like a pretty wimpy kind of car to me.

Knight Alpha:
Meine Spitzengeschwindigkeit ist ?ber 480 Kilometern pro Stunde, und ich kann ?ber f?nfzehn Meter springen. [TRANSLATION: My top speed is in excess of 480 kilometres per hour, and I can jump over fifteen metres]

Erica West:
What did he say?

Gil:
I have no clue! He only speaks German!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
But the A. I. voice synthsiser is supposed to be universely linguistic!

Knight Alpha:
Korrekt, aber ich m?chten nicht Englisch sprechen! Sie egocentric Amerikaner begrenzen sich, indem Sie nur eine Sprache erlernen. [TRANSLATION: Correct, but I do not want to speak English! You egocentric Americans limit yourselves by learning only one language]

Kyle Stewart:
Er, Dante, you want to translate that?

Dante:
Ha, ha, no, not really!

Kaila Gordon:
Did you forget to pay the electric bill, or are you just camera shy?

Mobius:
Please sit down!

Kaila Gordon:
[Sitting down] Look, I appreciate you busting me out of prision, but I have more important things to do than attend your [looks at Max] Freaks Anonymous meeting!

Max Amendas:
Your manicure will have to wait, darling!

Kaila Gordon:
Who's the annoying Brit?

Mobius:
Max Amendes, and I'm afraid, my dear, his reputation is more notorious than yours.

Max Amendas:
And I didn't have to get it by lying on my back!

Mobius:
If we could all just...

Kaila Gordon:
Look, i didn't come here to be insulted by Prince Charles over there!

Duke DePalma:
[Discussing Shadow's clues - Key and Arizona] Is there a Key, Arizona?

Dante:
No Duke, there is no such place.

Beast:
You know, Duke, you say dumb stuff like that, it reflects badly on both of us!

Duke DePalma:
I'm sorry - I really didn't mean to embarress you!

Plato:
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light.

Erica West:
The Star Spangled Banner? I'm lost!

Erica West:
[Through gritted teeth] Plato, I don't know how you do it!

Plato:
Only the Shadow knows!

[the discusion turns to speculation regarding the Shadow]

Erica West:
Who are we talking about?

Jenny Andrews:
We think Shadow might be Michael Knight

Erica West:
Michael Knight? The guy with the talking Ferrari?

Duke DePalma:
Trans-Am!

[Roland is pouring coffe for Starr while Kalia and Max read the business plan from Mobius]

Kaila Gordon:
Rediculous!

Max Amendas:
She's right, Mobius! You're living in a dream world! Wake up, sweetheart, there is no Santa claus!

Mobius:
Fine - Roland will show you out!

Mobius:
I need partners with a little more vision. Now, stop wasting my time and get out!

Kaila Gordon:
[Leaning closer to Max] I guess that's what they call a soft sell.

Mobius:
Lokk, ask yourself one question - what if I can do it? Who would benefit?

[a look passes between Kalia and Max]

Roland:
Wasn't that two questions?

Starr:
Shut up, Roland!

Max Amendas:
[Bursting into Key's office with a thug in tow] A surprise party, for me? You shouldn't have!

[Erica and Trek are escorting Key through the lobby of his office building when Max surprises them]

Max Amendas:
You should have taken the service elevator - quite a smooth ride! Notify your glorified go-kart to give us a safe passage from the building.

Erica West:
[Raises her com watch to her mouth] Plato, Kat, there's a handsome man about to exit the building. Leave him alone - and that goes for his ugly kidnapper too!

Max Amendas:
Ouch!

[When Erica and Trek check in with SKY 1, the team discuss the possibility that Mobius is planning to attempt world wide mind control]

Jenny Andrews:
Kyle, don't you think global mind control is just a little far fetched?

Plato:
Cuckoo, Cuckoo!

Erica West:
For once, Plato, I understand and agree with you. Kyle, You're nuts!

Duke DePalma:
It is a little big!

Mobius:
Kalia - your turn.

Kaila Gordon:
About time - these hard chairs were making my butt fall asleep!

Mobius:
I knew from the moment I met her that Kalia wouldn't disappoint me.

Max Amendas:
What planet are you on, Mobius? She got caught! Doesn't that compromise your big plan?

Mobius:
Oh Max, you obviously didn't read my business plan all thenway through!

Max Amendas:
Well, it wasn't exactly a John Grisham novel!

Starr:
I don't know what he's talking about, darling - I couldn't put it down!

Max Amendas:
Well, I skimmed the bits that didn't have to do with me!

Mobius:
Maybe it's time you gave it a second look, Max, just so you're up to speed with the rest of us!

[the team realise Mobius could already be using his mind control]

Erica West:
He could be controlling one of us!

Jenny Andrews:
Or all of us!

Duke DePalma:
And we wouldn't even know it!

[pause, followed by Trek rising slowly out of his seat]

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
[Monotone] I must kill Erica West!

Erica West:
[Pushing him back] oh, stop it! [They all laugh]

[the team have tracked Mobius to an industrial wharf when max steps out carrying a green tube]

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
What's he aiming at us?

Kat:
A rocket launcher! A big one too!

Erica West:
I never should've gotten out of bed this morning!

Max Amendas:
[after Starr has used an SUV to ram a badly damaged Dante off a pier] Oh dear, how terribly sad! Still, he's never really dead, as long as you remember him in your hearts!

[Trek, Ercia Duke and Jenny are tied to chairs around a table when Max strides in]

Max Amendas:
Ello, ello, why's everybody so down, eh?

Duke DePalma:
You know, you're really starting to bug me!

Max Amendas:
Funny - that's exactly what my second wife said, right before I shot her!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
[Nodding towards the bank of electronic equipment in the corner] Wait a minute - that's the mind control device?

Max Amendas:
Latest in home electronics!

[Max and Kalia decide to test the mind control device on Duke]

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
[Whispering to Erica] Can't be it. It's too small - you'd need seperate units for plotting and transmission!

Max Amendas:
Oi! Quiet over there! You'll miss Mr DePalma's brain melting!

Kaila Gordon:
[Looking at Duke] Too late - they already missed it!

[Max unfastens Duke's handcuffs, and Duke stands up]

Max Amendas:
Isn't this fun! Who should we kill first, Big Boy?

Kaila Gordon:
[Excitedly] Oh, Jenny - strangle Jenny!

[Duke swings his arm backwards towards Max, resulting in Max and Kalia running from the room]

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
[Watching Max and Kalia leave] I told you it wouldn't work!

Erica West:
This mind control thing is a total con, and a good one too - I didn't even see it coming!

Erica West:
[Looking out at the thugs firing on Jenny] Trek, they're closing in on her!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
There - I've reconnected some of the systems, but I don't know which ones!

Beast:
[Cutting to a shot of Beast's wipers moving] We're okay if it starts to rain - now how about the weapons?

Beast:
Okay - I've got missile control.

Erica West:
Good - blow that third boat out of the water!

Beast:
Ready! Damm - I'm out of range!

Dante:
[after rising out of the water looking as good as new] Kyle, I accept your unspoken thanks for ordering those extra parts, without which we'd still be at the bottom of the ocean!

Kyle Stewart:
Juast fire the missile!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
[after Kyle has rejoined the others] Duke had already given up on you.

Duke DePalma:
That's becauser my car can't go under water!

Erica West:
Kyle, there was no mind control device. He even duped Max and Kalia!

[Mobius enters the darkened conference room, when Shadow appears]

Shadow:
I knew it was only a matter of time before you figured it out!

Mobius:
Yes, quite simple really. Everything suggested that you were here - that you had always been here.

Shadow:
So now what? You're going to kill me?

Mobius:
Oh [coughs] never! Not you! I'm taking you with me! [Flicks a switch on his control arm, before moving forward enough to pick up a small sphere labelled K.I.T.T. which has risen from the centre console]

[the team enter the darkened conference room]

Kyle Stewart:
[as the lights come on] Do you think he could have been here?

Erica West:
Well, how could he get past everyone? I mean, it's not like he can outrun us!

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
Maybe he beamed in!

Kyle Stewart:
Who are you?

FBI Agent Daniel Waldo:
My name's Waldo.

Kevin "Trek" Sanders:
Oh, hey. They finally found you.