The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension

Rawhide:
Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize the pineal tumor without damaging the quadrigeminal plate. Subcutaneous microphones are gonna allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.

Doctor:
Like, "Raise my right arm"?

Rawhide:
...or, "Throw the harpoon." People are gonna come from all over. This boy's an Eskimo.

Buckaroo Banzai:
You ever thought about joining me full-time?

New Jersey:
Do you have an opening?

Buckaroo Banzai:
Uh-huh. Can you sing?

New Jersey:
A little. Yeah. I can dance...

Artie Duncan:
I don't care if you walked through a mountain in Texas. This is New Jersey, and when you play my...{distracted by someone walking past him}... when you play my joint, you're just another act. I want some music out'a you characters!

Reno Nevada:
You want it, Artie? You got it.

Penny Priddy:
Uh, Dr. Banzai, you... you forgot your thruster.

Buckaroo Banzai:
{smiles at her} Why don't you hold onto it for a while?

Penny Priddy:
{suggestively} Anytime...

Scooter Lindley:
Dad! Dad! Buckaroo's in trouble!

Casper Lindley:
Say what?!

Perfect Tommy:
Don't embarrass us.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Have I ever?

Buckaroo Banzai:
John Parker, take this wheel. Just... just hold on, that's good. It flies like a truck.

John Parker:
Good. {pause} What is a truck?

Buckaroo Banzai:
{as the thermopod is in free-fall} Can't you fly this thing?

John Parker:
I'm a diplomat! I failed flight school!

General Catburd:
Mr. President, I am a soldier. And I'm a damn good one. I've got enough decorations to snap a Christmas tree. All I'm trying to say is, and I hope I speak for everyone in this room, is that I am scared. I'm barely holding my... fudge, right now.

Senator Cunningham:
{a woman} Stop acting like a goddamn schoolgirl, General, and pull yourself together!

President Widmark:
I'm glad someone has the balls to face facts!

New Jersey:
Where are we?

Buckaroo Banzai:
I'd hate to tell you.

{As New Jersey and Reno are making their way through the lab, New Jersey notices a watermelon held in a pneumatic compression device}

New Jersey:
Why is there a watermelon there?

Reno Nevada:
{after a pause} I'll tell you later.

Scooter Lindley:
Get away from that car, or I'll drink your blood!

Secretary of Defense:
{noticing Scooter is holding an automatic rifle} Whatcha got there, son? That's not... real, is it?

Scooter Lindley:
{fires a shot to the side} Get 'em up!

Lord John Whorfin:
Full speed ahead. And may I remind you, to fasten your'a seat belts, and esstinguish all smoking material.

John Bigbooté:
We haven't a chance. Your overthruster's for sh*t. We'll lose...

Lord John Whorfin:
One more word out of you, Bigbooty...

John Bigbooté:
BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY! {Whorfin shoots him}

First Mission Control Operator:
Buckaroo, the White House wants to know is everything OK with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?

Buckaroo Banzai:
Tell him yes on one and no on two.

Second Mission Control Operator:
Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?

{New Jersey and Buckaroo are in an operating room, performing brain surgery}

New Jersey:
See, this is the part where for me it started to look like a problem. You know, I wanted to sacrifice the Precentral vein to order to get some exposure, but because of this guy's normal variation I got excited and all of a sudden I didn't know whether if I was looking at the Precentral vein or one of the internal cerebral veins or the vein of Galen or the Basilar vein of Rosenthal. So on my own, me, at this point I was ready to say, "That's it. Let's get out."

Buckaroo Banzai:
See, you can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when you get right down to it, this far inside the head, it all looks the same. {pause} No, no, no, no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.