The Beach Girls

Ducky:
Is that a salami in your pocket, or you just glad to see me?

Pizza Boy:
[pulling one out of his pocket] It's a salami.

Ginger:
Where did all these girls come from?

Ducky:
I don't know. One of these studs must have called a pound.

Sarah:
Ginger! There's a guy and a girl in the bathroom together.

Ginger:
Yeah?

Sarah:
And they're doing it!

Ginger:
How do you know?

Sarah:
I saw them.

Ginger:
Well, maybe they're washing each others' backs.

Sarah:
Ginger, I'm not stupid.

Ginger:
No, but you are uptight. You'll get over it.

Muscles:
[flexing] How do you like these pecks?

Doreen:
[unzipping her top] How do you like these bushels?

Sarah:
Next fall, I start UCLA, pre-law. Then, a couple years of law school, maybe join up with a good firm for a couple of years, specialize, and...

Scott Daniels:
Oh, whoa, what is that, eight, ten years there? What if you get that far and find out you don't like being a lawyer?

Sarah:
I don't plan to not like being a lawyer.

Scott Daniels:
You're programming yourself just like a computer.

Sarah:
Well, what's wrong with that?

Scott Daniels:
Nothing, if you happen to be a computer. You're a real, live human being.

Sarah:
So?

Scott Daniels:
So follow your impulses once in awhile. Be human.

Captain Blye:
I admire your spirit, Captain Jack. I can say this for you, you got balls, like me.

Captain Jack:
But I don't play with mine all the time.

[Ginger pulls out a joint]

Carl Purdue:
No thanks, I'm trying to quit.

Ginger:
[laughs] These aren't cigarettes. They don't kill you. They let you live, baby.

Ducky:
[hungover] My mouth feels like an army marched through it.

Ginger:
Well, lock me in a freezer and call me a popsicle!

Captain Blye:
We're not gonna let the killer weed fall into the innocent hands of our American youth!

Ginger:
It's just a little weed. Well, maybe not such a little. How 'bout, six trash bags full?

Sarah:
Six bags full? Like that?

Ducky:
Don't be mad, be glad.

Ginger:
I don't mean to be mean, Sarah, but just look at yourself. You don't wanna have any fun. You're a fifty-year-old teenager.

Julie:
Young man, are you popping pills?

Popper:
I sure am. I'm a popper, she's a popper, he's a popper... wouldn't you like to be a popper too?

Carl Purdue:
That was great!

Ducky:
What, the grass or us?

Carl Purdue:
Oh, I don't know. Shall we try it all over again, so I can make up my mind?

Ginger:
What, Carl, already?

Lt. Gower:
We found the marijuana, sir!

Captain Blye:
Burn ittt!

Crowd:
No! No! No!

Captain Blye:
I want them to see it destroyed, like it destroys their minds. You kids know what you're doing to yourselves?

Crowd:
Yeah!

Captain Blye:
Your body is a temple.

Doreen:
Oh, I know.

Captain Blye:
You should watch what you put into it.

Doreen:
Oh, I do!

Captain Jack:
I'm going back into politics. It's safer, more profit. Set a course for San Clemente!

[last lines]

Ducky:
There'll never be another party like this one.