The Cat Lady

Mitzi:
[Susan is taking a bath] Miss Ashworth, I need to ask you something. Can I come in?

Susan:
I'm in the bath. Is it important?

Mitzi:
Yes, very important! The fate of the world depends on it!

Susan:
You can come in, if you promise you're not a lesbian.

Mitzi:
A lesbian? I told you I had a boyfriend, Miss A! We're both girls. We shouldn't get embarrassed by each other. Where do you get ideas like that?

Susan:
I don't know... It seems everyone is gay these days. Now, that's okay with me. Don't get me wrong. But I don't necessarily want a lesbian to stare at my b*obs, if you know what I mean

Mitzi:
Miss A, if I want to stare at some b*obs, I'll take my top off and look in the mirror.

Susan:
Right, come in then.

Mitzi:
[Mitzi enters the bathroom] I'm cooking up some pancakes. What do you like on yours?

[first lines]

Susan:
My name is Susan Ashworth. I live alone in this old two-bedroom flat. I rarely go outside. Some would say it's a lonely life, and I guess that's true, but I don't like people's company. Not lately, anyway. I only trust in my cats these days, and I will miss them dearly... but they will understand, like they always have. Teacup stays with me 'till the end. He watches me, as if he knew... Because, early tonight, I swallowed a whole bunch of pills. Any second now, I will be dead. I've only got one thing to say now. Thanks for nothing... Goodbye.

[last lines]

Susan:
Now, I've forgiven the world and myself, too. I teach myself to smile again. One day I'll get there. I know I will. Even if it takes me not nine, but nine hundred lives.