The Desperadoes

Nitro Rankin:
You ought to knock before coming in here, Countess. Suppose I was taking a bath or something?

Countess Maletta:
If I ever hear of you taking a bath, I'll start knocking.

Countess Maletta:
Nitro, did you ever want to live your life over again?

Nitro Rankin:
Me? No, I couldn't stand the excitement twice in a row.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[toasting] Here's to green pastures and no fences!

Uncle Willie McLeod:
Three men murdered in cold blood! What's the sense to it?

Jack Lester:
We was robbin' a bank!

Uncle Willie McLeod:
I'm a lot older than you, Jack. In my time, I've seen a lot of men with itchy trigger fingers like you - and they're all in Boot Hill with dirt in their face. Somebody cured them of that itch.

Jack Lester:
Would you like a couple of holes in that big fat belly of yours?

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[leaving] You're holdin' up the U.S. mail, amd that's a Federal offense.

Sheriff Steve Upton:
Are you sure you can't remember anything about him, Allison?

Allison McLeod:
Yes, Steve. The way I remember him, he couldn't come out last in a gunfight. He seems awful quick, Steve.

Sheriff Steve Upton:
Did you ever see how fast I can duck?

Deputy Blackie:
[Referring to the gallows being built for Nitro and Cheyenne] Only twelve hours until you boys get some exercise... walking on air.

Judge Cameron:
Why, I aim to give Red Valley a couple hangings that they'll be proud of in days to come!

Nitro Rankin:
Come on, let's go!

Allison McLeod:
Well, why? What's the hurry? We're not in any hurry.

Nitro Rankin:
Oh, yes, we are. I just robbed a bank!

Judge Cameron:
...Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Well, gents, there's twelve of you, and it takes twelve to make a jury. Now we got two men here to hang. But we are going to do it by the law. Hank, you be foreman.

Hank:
Huh? Oh, all right, judge.

Judge Cameron:
Lift your right hand. Do you solemnly swar to put the law on them bank robbers, so help ya?

Hank:
I do.

Judge Cameron:
That's the stuff, Hank! Now wait a minute, we got to have a little evidence... but very little!

Jack Lester:
Cheyenne, you ain't serious, are you? Killin' me don't make sense.

Nitro Rankin:
[lronically] It never does to the fella that's getting killed.

Sundown:
I'm crazy about you, Jack. Are you crazy about me?

Jack Lester:
I'd be crazy if I was.

Cheyenne Rogers:
I was just goin' down to look at my horse.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
Steve was in to see his horse a little while ago.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[laughs] Seems like there thee ain't nuthin' more lonesome than a lonesome horse.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[Uncle Willy laughs again] Except maybe a lonesome man.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
A man don't need to be if the saloon's open.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
A man can't do much when he gets old except save his money.

Sheriff Steve Upton:
[leaving with Cheyenne as Willie sits on front porch] Good night, Uncle Willie.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
Through with your courtin', boys?

Sheriff Steve Upton:
For tonight... yeah. [He laughs]

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[philisophically] Ah, havin' a daughter's a real trial. Man with a son can get all the sleep he needs, but with a daughter you can't close your eyes 'til everyone's gone home. [Steve laughs]

Uncle Willie McLeod:
[referring to Cheyenne] Real bang-up outlaw they say... dangerous afoot, on a horse, or layin' on his back. Wouldn't think so quiet-spoken a fellas as him is bad would yuh?

Allison McLeod:
They say he's a good badman.

Uncle Willie McLeod:
There ain't no such thing. A bad man's bad for himself and for everybody else.