The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Man With No Name:
You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.

Tuco:
But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco.

Tuco:
God is on our side because he hates the Yanks.

Man With No Name:
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.

Man With No Name:
I've never seen so many men wasted so bad.

Man With No Name:
Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.

Baker:
Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me.

Angel Eyes:
Oh I almost forgot. He payed me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you.

Angel Eyes:
But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.

Baker:
Noo! Angel Eyes!

Tuco:
I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise.

Tuco:
If you save your breath I feel a man like you can manage it. And if you don't manage it, you'll die. Only slowly, very slowly old friend.

Tuco:
There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.

Man With No Name:
You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

One Armed Man:
I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.

Tuco:
When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.

Tuco:
Don't die, I'll get you water. Stay there. Don't move, I'll get you water. Don't die until later.

Tuco:
You want to know who you are? Huh? Huh? You don't, I do, everyone does... you're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you.

Stevens:
What are you being paid for killing me?

Angel Eyes:
Five hundred dollars... to get the name.

Tuco:
I'll kill you.

Man With No Name:
If you do that... you'll always be poor... just like the greasy rat you are.

Tuco:
You became a priest because you were too much of a coward to do what I do.

Man With No Name:
The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

Man With No Name:
Tut, tut. Such ingratitude after all the times I saved your life.

Tuco:
I'm innocent! I'm just a simple farmer!

Sheriff:
(shows Tuco the wanted poster)Come here, you! Just a simple farmer, eh? Who is this?

Tuco:
Me?

Sheriff:
Yeah, you.

Tuco:
Who says so? You can't even read!(sheriff rolls up the poster) Go ahead, roll it up! I'll give a good idea where to put it!

Tuco:
Get on that stool and put the rope around your neck. I have a different system, my friend; I don't shoot the rope, I shoot the legs from under the stool.

Tuco:
Even when Judas hanged himself there was thunder.

Man With No Name:
That might be cannon fire.

Tuco:
Thunder or cannon fire, it's all the same to you. Adios, Blondie.

Man With No Name:
Take off your gun and put on your pants.

Man With No Name:
Every gun makes its own tune.

Tuco:
One bastard goes in, another one comes out.

Tuco:
You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.

Jackson:
The name on the grave is... water

Tuco:
In the cemetary, okay, in the grave okay! But it must have a name or a number on it! Talk, damn you!

Maria:
Is that you Bill? Bill!

Angel Eyes:
Go on talking about Bill Carson.

Blondie:
[During their stay in the Union camp, watching Confederate and Union soldiers fight over the bridge] I've never seen so many men wasted so badly.

Blondie:
Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.

Blondie:
I'll sleep better knowing my good friend is by my side to protect me.

Blondie:
After a meal there's nothing like a good cigar.

Blondie:
The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

Blondie:
[to Tuco] Tut, tut. Such ingratitude after all the times I saved your life.

Blondie:
Put your drawers on, and take your gun off.

Blondie:
Every gun makes its own tune.

Blondie:
[to Tuco] Were you gonna die alone?

Blondie:
[After the stand-off, where in Angel Eyes is killed and Tuco finds out that there're no bullets in his gun] You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

Blondie:
[Upon reading angel eyes' "see you soon, idiots" note] [to Tuco] It's for you.

Tuco:
When you have to shoot, shoot; don't talk.

Tuco:
But if you miss, you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!

Tuco:
There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those who have a rope around their neck and those who have the job of doing the cutting.

Tuco:
If you save your breath I feel a man like you can manage it. And if you don't manage it, you'll die. Only slowly, very slowly, old friend.

Tuco:
Don't die, I'll get you water. Stay there. Don't move, I'll get you water. Don't die until later.

Tuco:
You want to know who you are? Huh? Huh? You don't, I do, everyone does... you're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you.

Tuco:
Who the hell is that? One bastard goes in, another one comes out.

Tuco:
You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something crazy. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.

Tuco:
[to a chicken] If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?

Tuco:
There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door, [crosses himself] those that come in by the window.

Tuco:
If I get my hand on the two hundred thousand dollars, I'll always honor your memory. I swear.

Tuco:
That's so. Even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's always a brother who won't refuse me a bowl of soup.

Tuco:
I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise and sometimes they never get up!

Tuco:
[To his brother Pablo] You think you're better than I am? Where we came from, if one did not want to die of poverty, one became a priest or a bandit! You chose your way, I chose mine. Mine was harder. You talk of our mother and father. You remember when you left to become a priest? I stayed behind! I must have been ten, twelve. I don't remember which, but I stayed. I tried, but it was no good. Now I am going to tell you something. You became a priest because you were... too much of a coward to do what I do!

Tuco:
I have a system, very much like yours. Only difference is I don't shoot the rope, I shoot the legs off the stool. Adios.

Tuco:
The world is divided into two kinds of people, those who have friends and those who are lonely like poor Tuco.

Tuco:
Hijo de una gran puta! "Son of a b*tch!"

Tuco:
Hey Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty son of a b-[gets cut off by the ending music]

Angel Eyes:
[In a note pinned to a dead man] See you soon, idiots.

Angel Eyes:
[to Blondie] You're smart enough to know that talking won't save you.

Angel Eyes:
[to Blondie] You're not digging.

Angel Eyes:
People with ropes around their necks don't always hang. Even a filthy beggar like that has a protecting angel. A golden-haired angel watches over him.

Angel Eyes:
Oh, I almost forgot, he paid me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. But you know, the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that. [Angel Eyes shoots his boss]

Angel Eyes:
Two people can dig a lot quicker than one. Dig.

Angel Eyes:
Is this your family? Nice family.

Stevens:
You're... from Baker... Tell Baker that I told him all that I know already. Tell him I want to live in peace, understand? That it's no use to go on tormenting me! I know nothing at all about that case of coins. Now that gold has disappeared, but if he'd listened, we could have avoided this altogether. I went to the Army court; there were no witnesses. They couldn't uncover any more. I can't tell Baker what happened to the money; go back and tell him that!

No-Legged Soldier:
Hand me down a whiskey!

Union Captain:
Whoever has the most liquor to get the soldiers drunk and send them to be slaughtered, is the winner.

[Approaching a column of grey-clad cavalry]

Tuco:
(shouting) God's with us because he hates the Yanks too!

[Riding up to Blondie and Tuco, an officer pats the grey dust from his blue uniform.]

Blondie:
God's not on our side because he hates idiots also.

Angel Eyes:
Like a little music with your meal, Tuco?

Tuco:
Music? Yeah, it's very good. It's very good for the digestion.

Tuco:
The name of the cemetery is ... (hesitating) .. Sad Hill. Now it's your turn.

Blondie:
The name on the grave is ... Arch Stanton.

Tuco:
Arch Stanton? You sure?

Blondie:
Yeah. Sure I'm sure.

Blondie:
[Seeing blood on the floor] You're not going to give me the same treatment?

Angel Eyes:
Would you talk?

Blondie:
No... probably not.

Tuco:
You pig! You wanted to get me killed. When d'ya unload it?

Blondie:
Last night. You see in this world there's two kinds of people my friend - those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

[Angel Eyes prepares to board a stagecoach during Tuco's execution]

Woman on stagecoach:
Glad they got him. A man guilty of all those crimes!

Angel Eyes:
People with ropes around their necks don't always hang.

Woman on stagecoach:
What do you mean?

Angel Eyes:
Even a filthy beggar like that has a protecting angel.

[Angel Eyes looks around and catches sight of Blondie]

Angel Eyes:
A golden-haired angel watches over him.

Blondie:
You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.

Tuco:
But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco.

Tuco:
[trying to read a note] "See you soon, id..." "id..." "ids..."

Blondie:
[taking the note] "Idiots". It's for you.

Baker:
Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. [hands over a purse]

Angel Eyes:
Oh I almost forgot. He paid me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. [they both laugh] But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.

Baker:
Noo! Angel Eyes!

One Armed Man:
I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.

[Tuco kills him with a hidden gun]

Tuco:
When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.

Blondie:
[counting Angel Eyes' men] One, two, three, four, five, and six. Six, the perfect number.

Angel Eyes:
I thought three was the perfect number.

Blondie:
I've got six more bullets in my gun.

Tuco:
I'll kill you.

Blondie:
If you do that... you'll always be poor... just like the greasy rat you are.

Tuco:
I'm innocent! I'm an honest farmer!

Sheriff:
[shows Tuco the wanted poster] Come here, you! Just a simple farmer, eh? Who is this?

Tuco:
Me?

Sheriff:
Yeah, you.

Tuco:
Who says so? You can't even read! [the Sheriff rolls up the poster] Go ahead, roll it up! I'll give a good idea where you can put it!

Tuco:
[to Blondie] Get on that stool and put the rope around your neck. I have a different system, my friend; I don't shoot the rope, I shoot the legs from under the stool.

[Sound of distant rumbling]

Tuco:
Even when Judas hanged himself there was thunder.

Blondie:
That could be cannon fire.

Tuco:
Thunder or cannon fire, it's all the same to you. Adios, Blondie.

Tuco:
I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again. I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.

Blondie:
Listen, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.

Tuco:
Five?

Blondie:
Yeah, five of 'em.

Tuco:
So, that's why you came to Tuco. It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.

Bounty Hunter #2:
[three bounty hunters have cornered Tuco] No! No pistol, amigo! It won't do you any good!

Mexican Bounty Hunter:
[holding a wanted poster] Hey, amigo! You know you have a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?

Blondie:
[from behind them] Yeah, but you don't look like the one who'll collect it.

who the hell is that , one bastard goes in and another comes out.

[Blondie gives Tuco a horse ride out to the desert]

Tuco:
What're you trying to say? Anybody can miss a shot? Nobody misses when I'm at the end of the rope. You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the devil bite your ass!

Blondie:
Yeah, you're right. It's getting tougher. [throws Tuco off the horse] The way I figure, there's really not to much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

Tuco:
What do you mean?

Blondie:
'Cause I don't think you'll ever be worth more than $3,000.

Tuco:
What do you mean?

Blondie:
I mean, our partnership is untied. [Tuco looks at the rope] Oh no, not you. You remain tied. I'll keep the money, and you can have the rope.

Tuco:
[angrily] You filthy, double-crossing bastard! Of all the stinking, dirty tricks...

Blondie:
The way back to town is only 70 miles. If you save your breath, I feel a man like you could manage it. Adios. [begins riding away]

Tuco:
You, you, you filthy BASTARD! [chases Blondie] Come here! Come here! Cut this rope off! Get off that horse! GET OFF THAT HORSE! You filthy coward! If I ever catch you, Blondie, I'll rip your heart out and eat it! I'll sk-- I'll skin you alive! I'll hang you by your tongue! YOU PIG! YOU VULTURE! [angrily begins kicking sand up] WHY, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!

Blondie:
[stops the horse and looks back at Tuco] Such ingratitude, after all the times I've saved your life. ["THE GOOD"] [begins riding away again]

Tuco:
Wait a minute. Wait. This is only a trick! You won't leave me here! Come back! WAIT, BLONDIE! Listen, Blondie! [enraged] HIJO DE UNA GRAN PUTAAAAAAAA!!!!

Tuco:
[to Blondie, motions toward a stool] Get on that. Now put the rope around your neck. That’s very good! The rope is too big for your neck, eh? We’ll fix that right away. I have a different system, my friend; I don't shoot the rope. I shoot the legs off the stool.

[Sound of distant rumbling]

Tuco:
Even when Judas hanged himself there was a storm.

Blondie:
That could be cannon fire.

Tuco:
Cannon fire or storm, it's all the same to you. Adios.

Tuco:
Wake up, you. There are troops coming.

Blondie:
Are they blue or gray?

Tuco:
Gray... They're gray like us. Let's say hello to them and then get going. [Shouting] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... [Turns to Blondie] What's his name?

Blondie:
Lee.

Tuco:
Lee! God's on our side 'cause He hates the Yanks, too!

[Riding up to Blondie and Tuco, an officer pats the grey dust from his blue uniform.]

Blondie:
God's not on our side because He hates idiots also.

[Corporal Wallace is calling roll at a Union POW camp]

Cpl. Wallace:
Bill Carson. [A Union sergeant turns around; it is Angel Eyes.] Bill Carson! I said Bill Carson!

Tuco:
Hey, Blondie. Isn't that Angel Eyes?

Cpl. Wallace:
Alright, what's he doing, sleeping?! Bill Carson!

Blondie:
Yeah...and you better be Bill Carson.

Cpl. Wallace:
BILL CARSON!

Tuco:
Yeah! Yeah, that's me.

[Angel Eyes comes over and takes the roll paper from Wallace, who approaches Tuco.]

Cpl. Wallace:
Please, Carson... answer "Present". What are you, deaf?! [Punches Tuco, who falls to his knees.] Now suppose you say "Present," Carson.

Tuco:
I like big fat men like you. When they fall, they make more noise, and sometimes they never get up!

Captain Harper:
For the last time, Sergeant, I'm telling you I want the prisoners treated as prisoners. No more brutality.

Angel Eyes:
There's hundreds of prisoners out there and only a few men to guard 'em. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to have respect.

Cpt. Harper:
I think that you'll manage to gain their respect by treating them better.

Angel Eyes:
Are our men treated that well in Andersonville camp?

Cpt. Harper:
I don't give a goddamn what they do in Andersonville! While I'm in charge here the prisoners are not to be tortured, or cheated... or murdered.

Angel Eyes:
That an accusation?

Cpt. Harper:
Sergeant, gangrene is eating my leg away. Not my eyes. I know the prisoners here are being robbed systematically. I know there's scum around who are bivouacked near the camp, waiting for someone to deliver this loot. But as long as I'm commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?

Angel Eyes:
Yes, sir. Just as long as you're the commandant.

Cpt. Harper:
Yes, Sergeant... I know this leg means I won't last very long. But I pray I can manage to have enough time to amass evidence to bring to a court-martial all those who dishonor and discredit the uniform... of the Union.

Angel Eyes:
I wish you luck.

Angel Eyes:
[Throws Blondie some civilian clothes] The war's over for you. Put those clothes on.

Blondie:
Why?

Angel Eyes:
We’re going for a ride.

Blondie:
Where?

Angel Eyes:
I know the name of the cemetery now, and you know the name on the grave.

Blondie:
[Seeing Tuco’s blood on the floor] You're not going to give me the same treatment?

Angel Eyes:
Would you talk?

Blondie:
No... probably not.

Angel Eyes:
That’s what I thought. Not that you're any tougher than Tuco. But you’re smart enough to know that talking won't save you.

Union Captain:
We have two attacks a day.

Tuco:
[appalled] Two attacks a day?

Union Captain:
Sure, the Rebs have decided that damn bridge is the key to this whole area. Stupid, useless bridge. Flyspeck on headquarters' maps. And headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck even if all of us are killed. Otherwise, the key will get rusty and just be a spot on the wall.

Tuco: Blond...Blondie......Blondie.. {Almost falls off} Blondie stops and aims his rifle and fires. The rope is cut.

Tuco saying epic sentence to intruder:
-

"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!"

In the bath Room:
Tuco said to the crippled man (after killing him) 'When you have to shoot...Shoot! Don't talk'

(In Catholic mission after splashing coffee on Tuco's face Blondie said).

''I sleep better knowing my good friend by my side to protect me''.

Dying ain't much of a livin boy

It has to be strong enough to hold the weight of a pig.

But you know, when I'm paid, I always see the job through.

Taco:
Id..Idi....id...

Blonde:
Idiot....It’s for you!

Tuco:
What about our parents?

Pablo:
Only now do you think of them? To begin after nine years...

Tuco:
[startled] Nine years? [He tries to laugh it off] So it's nine years. Nine years!

Pablo:
Our mother has been dead a long time now. [the smile fades from Tuco's face] Our father died a few days ago. That's why I was away. He asked for you to be there... but there was only me.

[Tuco quietly weeps into the wall, his face obscured]

[Tuco is tied up in a hangman's noose. Blondie rides away]

Tuco:
Blond...Blondie......Blondie.. BLOOOOONDIE! [He almost falls off. His eyes scan the landscape. Blondie emerges from behind a tree]

Tuco: [sobbing with relief] Blondie! [Blondie fires his rifle, cutting the rope. Tuco screams and falls face-first into his share of the gold ["THE UGLY"] . View of Angel Eyes lying dead in a grave ["THE BAD"] . View of Blondie ["AND THE GOOD"]. Blondie turns and rides away. Still tied up, Tuco runs up.]

Tuco:
Hey, Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty son of a b-[gets cut off by the ending music]

Tuco:
Ah, my belly's full. Nice guy, my brother. I didn't tell you my brother was in charge here? Everything. Like the Pope, almost. He's in charge in Rome. Yeah, yeah, my brother, he say to me, "Stay, brother, don't go home. We never see each other. Here, there's plenty to eat and drink. Bring your friend, too." Whenever we see each other, he never lets me go. It's always the same story. My brother, he's crazy about me. [His tone becomes wistful] That's so... even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's a brother somewhere who'll never refuse me... a bowl of soup.