The Hills Have Eyes 2

[While driving through the desert, Mickey starts telling a joke to the fellow guardsmen.]

Mickey:
Maybe I should thank Napoleon. If we're all officially dead like Sarge said I won't be tried for war crimes. The killing of innocent mannequins is serious sh*t.

[The guardsmen laugh.]

Crank:
Where I come from, it's never good to be dead.

Mickey:
Aw, Crank. You're takin' all the fun out of the afterlife.

Crank:
Shove the afterlife up your ass.

[The guardsmen laugh again.]

Stump:
That's cold, man.

[Stump looks at Missy's tattoo.]

Stump:
Clyde, huh? Made the same mistake when I was a kid. [shows his other tattoo.; turns to Missy.] So is Clyde still your dude?

Missy:
Uh, yeah Stump. "Clyde"s still my dude...!

[Missy gets angry.; Mickey laughs.]

Mickey:
Stump, that's her son. He's like, four years old.

Stump:
That is so f***ed up.

[Stump and Mickey were laughing.; Missy gets intolerant.]

Missy:
One good thing about being dead, Wouldn't have to listen to all your bullshit!

[Stump mockingly coos to Missy.]

Delmar:
That's all there is out here. Just a bunch of bullshit.

Napoleon:
This bullshit's got a crazy past. You guys know they used to use this as a test ground for A-bombs?

Crank:
"You guys know this used to be a test ground for A-bombs?" Who the f*** asked you, peace-ass sh*t boy?

Napoleon:
Oh, right. I'm sorry. I forgot I was dealing with Rambo resurrected.

Crank:
You Rambo resurrect my balls, b*tch!

[Mickey and Stump laugh.]

Crank:
You with the pinche puta!

Napoleon:
O por es que provir riota?

[Crank enraged, lunges Napoleon.]

Stump:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Amber:
Come on, Crank!

Crank:
[attacking Napoleon.] What?! You wanna die young huh cabrón?!

Amber:
You guys, stop!

Crank:
[attacking Napoleon.] I'm getting ready kill you right now!

Stump:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Crank!

[Delmar shoves Crank and grabs him.]

Delmar:
I killed somebody once. It was easy. That's why it's so dangerous.

[Delmar releases Crank.]

Crank:
I don't f***ing like that guy!

Delmar:
Well, I don't like being out here having to put up with you!, but I deal with it! So deal with it!

[Delmar helps Napoleon to get up]

Napoleon:
Thanks.

Delmar:
Don't mind Crank. He's just a cranky motherf***er.

[After Napoleon gets out of the portalet, screaming when he notices the hand inside.]

Napoleon:
Oh f***! F***!

Amber:
What?

Napoleon:
There's a hand in the shitter!

Amber:
What?

Napoleon:
Check it out! Oh, f***in'

[Amber stumbles to the portalet and opens the door, revealing that no one is there.]

Amber:
There's nobody in there.

Napoleon:
Down there...!

[Amber stumbles closer to the portalet when a scientist emerges out.; Amber and Napoleon screams and closes the door.]

Amber:
Who was that guy?!

Napoleon:
"Sh*t-Man the Barbarian"! I have no idea!