The Ice Harvest

Charlie Arglist:
As Wichita falls... so falls Wichita Falls.

Vic:
He actually threatened to shoot Gladys if I did't tell him where the money was. But I think he was counting on a level of commitment and affection between her and me that just simply wasn't there.

Vic:
Don't you want to know where the money is?

Vic:
Don't be so worried. The hard part's done already. Everything worked just like you said it would.

Charlie Arglist:
Yeah. I guess.

Vic:
Just act normal for a few hours and we're home free. OK?

Charlie Arglist:
OK.

Vic:
OK.

Charlie Arglist:
Uh, you wanna take the money and not me?

Vic:
You wanna take the money?

Charlie Arglist:
No, I-I-I don't know. I was just...

Vic:
Well, if you wanna take the money... I mean, if you think you could do a better job at guarding two-million dollars...

Charlie Arglist:
No, no, no. It should be you. It should be you. It's just that we didn't discuss that.

Vic:
Are we through discussing it? Or is there more to say on the subject?

Charlie Arglist:
No. We're done.

Vic:
Cool. OK. Shut the door.

Charlie Arglist:
OK.

Vic:
And Charlie? Act normal.

Charlie Arglist:
Yeah.

Vic:
Well? How'd it go?

Charlie Arglist:
Good. Went good.

Vic:
How much?

Charlie Arglist:
A lot.

Vic:
Am I gonna have to slap the sh*t outta you? How much?

Charlie Arglist:
Vic, it's a great, big, f***in' pile of money: two-million - one-hundred - forty-seven-thousand dollars and change. My God, we're actually doing this.

Vic:
No, we're not doing it. It's already done.

Pete Van Heuten:
[standing outside his home where his wife's family is waiting to have Christmas dinner] That's my chair in there. You wanna know the truth? I can't fill it.

Charlie Arglist:
Neither could I, if it makes you feel any better.

Pete Van Heuten:
Listen, Charlie. Before we go in, there's something I have to tell you. It's been on my conscience, and you can punch me if you want to.

Charlie Arglist:
I don't think I'm gonna want to.

Pete Van Heuten:
Back when you and Sarabeth were still married, that last year... she and I were f***ing.

Charlie Arglist:
[not surprised] No kidding?

Pete Van Heuten:
Like minks. Everywhere. Kitchen table, your bed, garage.

Charlie Arglist:
Wow.

Pete Van Heuten:
Jesus, Charlie, we were friends! It doesn't make you angry?

Charlie Arglist:
Actually, it makes me curious. It makes me wonder who she's f***ing now.

Renata:
[answers phone] Hello?

Charlie Arglist:
Renata?

Renata:
Charlie.

Charlie Arglist:
Listen. You were right. Vic and I have been skimming.

Renata:
Well, duh!

Charlie Arglist:
I think Roy Gelles must have found out, and I think he might have killed Vic.

Renata:
That's terrible!

Charlie Arglist:
So I was thinking it might be best if I left town, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.

Renata:
You have the money?

Charlie Arglist:
What? Which?

Renata:
The money we're talking about. That you and Vic have been skimming. Try to keep up, OK?

Charlie Arglist:
No. Vic had it.

Renata:
So, your idea is that we should run away together and be poor?

Charlie Arglist:
I thought I'd give it a shot.

Vic:
Pay no attention to the man in the trunk.

Pete Van Heuten:
[waking up in back of Charlie's car] Ugh... Where are we?

Charlie Arglist:
We're in heaven, Pete.

Pete Van Heuten:
Oh... They got pancakes?

Charlie Arglist:
They got everything.

Pete Van Heuten:
Good.

Charlie Arglist:
It's Christmas! Everyone's nice on Christmas!

Vic Cavanaugh:
Only morons are nice on Christmas.

Renata:
Are you in love with me, Charlie?

Charlie Arglist:
I've always liked you.

Charlie Arglist:
Christmas Eve. Ho ho f***ing ho!

Vic:
One night, driving a Mercedes, already you're an a**hole.

Sidney:
My mother's always telling me I gotta control my anger, channel my energy into something more positive. Makes me want to slap her silly.

Charlie Arglist:
Pete, I know you're not asking for my advice, but listen... you should really shut the f*** up.

Vic:
You're dead, Roy. Don't just stand there pretending you're not.

Pete Van Heuten:
Yo-ho-ho, mofo!

Renata:
To the victor go the spoils.

Renata:
It's against my religion to give out personal advice, but you should either sober up or get real drunk.

Charlie Arglist:
Did I ever tell you my father was a twin?

Pete Van Heuten:
Identical?

Charlie Arglist:
Fraternal. Looked a lot alike, though, him and my uncle. Different temperaments completely. My father, he's a cop. By-the-book guy. Believed in the law, wanted his only son to be a lawyer. Drank in moderation, didn't smoke. Kept up his life insurance premiums. Voted in every election, not just for president.

Pete Van Heuten:
Lemme guess, uncle didn't vote?

Charlie Arglist:
He said he didn't want to encourage the bastards. In and out of jail from the time he was 16... drunk all the time, f***ed everything that walked. Won a fortune playing poker, lost it all the same way. Lost an eye in a fight. My father was 54 when he died of a massive embolism, right here in Wichita. My uncle died the very next day in a car wreck in California. So the point is... it is futile to regret. You do one thing, you do another... I mean, so what? What's the difference? Same result.

Pete Van Heuten:
That was unpleasant. I think I scraped my tummy.

Vic:
See, this is the whole problem with people, if you are what you do and you never do anything, then what the f*** are you? That's the way I see it anyways.

Sidney:
No no no. Shut-up you toothless old whore! [fight breaks out] Ah sh*t, Mom I gotta go.

Charlie Arglist:
All in all, i think that went well.

Pete Van Heuten:
Take me with you, man.

Charlie Arglist:
Oh, F***. Jesus, Pete.

Pete Van Heuten:
No, I mean it. Take me with you, buddy. I can't do my life, man. I can't do it.

Charlie Arglist:
Just get some rest.

Pete Van Heuten:
I hate myself. I want a new life.

Charlie Arglist:
You don't want mine.

Pete Van Heuten:
I really do.

Charlie Arglist:
I'm in trouble. I'm in big f***ing trouble.

Pete Van Heuten:
But that'd be great. Don't you see? We go out in a blaze of glory. Like men. Like men, Charlie No goddamn life left for men anymore. Not here. This country, all that's left for men is money and p*ssy.

Charlie Arglist:
Oh, Vic?

Vic:
What?

Charlie Arglist:
[Shows a severed thumb] Whose thumb is this?

Vic:
Oh yeah, Roy. good news: Charlie brought your thumb.

Vic:
You know what, Roy? One more word out of that trunk, and I'm going to shoot it at both ends, because the truth is, I can't remember which end your head's at.

Charlie Arglist:
It's Christmas, Dennis. It's God's birthday.

Pete Van Heuten:
My friend here is a mobster. You may know that. You may not.