The Mighty Boosh Live

Vince Noir:
That's funny you should say that actually, because I was walking through Camden the other day, and I saw you in a skip, weeping.

Howard Moon:
That was an art piece that I was doing.

Vince Noir:
Really? Because you had a shirt and tie on but no pants or trousers.

Howard Moon:
Yeah? Too much for you was it?

Vince Noir:
It was too much. It was quite early in the morning. I was trying to eat a baguette.

Howard Moon:
Hmm. Check me out.

[spotlight singles out Howard]

Vince Noir:
[Vince introduces Howard, whilst he does actions] Howard Moon, Jazz Maverick, Novelist, Cyclist, Rider of the Penny-Farthing, Stamp Collector, Age: 61

[Howard points down]

Vince Noir:
57? Special Features: The tiny eyes of a shrew! Howard Moon! Yeah! Check him out!

Howard Moon:
Yeah.

[starts trying to eat air]

Vince Noir:
What are you doing?

Howard Moon:
Eating the applause.

Vince Noir:
Haha! Who does that?

Howard Moon:
Me! Nice and crunchy

Vince Noir:
Hehe was it? Was it crunchy?

Howard Moon:
Yeah. Get in the light.

[light shines on Vince]

Howard Moon:
Vince Noir.

[long pause]

Howard Moon:
Electro-poof!

[Vince puts his arms out, Howard starts eating Vince's applause]

Vince Noir:
What are you doing? Huh? Never eat another man's applause!

Howard Moon:
Urgh, that's very rich!

Howard Moon:
It's a bit like fruitcake. I feel all bilious.

Vince Noir:
Too rich for you.

Russian Piemaker:
Wooould you like a pie?

Russian Widow:
...No.

Russian Piemaker:
But it is a gooood pie.

Russian Widow:
Nevertheless. The last time you gave me pie... I cut into it... with my tiny pie-cutter. And lots of birds flew out, hitting me in the eyes and the temples. I was confused. It was a trick pie.

Russian Piemaker:
Why don't you want my pie?

Russian Widow:
Why do you bring me pies all the time? Pastry goods every day with you!

Russian Piemaker:
I bring you pies, aah, to show you I love you!

Russian Widow:
Why don't you just tell me you love me!

Russian Piemaker:
Ahhhh!

Russian Widow:
Ahhhh!

Russian Piemaker:
Ahhhh!

Russian Widow:
Ahhhh!