The Oblongs...

Milo Oblong:
[reading Biff's diary] Ran laps behind Coach at practice. I hope someday to have his perfect buttocks. [flips pages] Came in early today. Coach was alone in the jacuzzi. Boring!

Helga:
Don't shoot or I'll kiss him again!

Milo Oblong:
She's not bluffing! She'll do it! Her lips are like shark skin!

Helga Phugly:
Thanks for the hot chow, Milo! [chews food and spits out] Your mother should be beaten with an oar.

Milo Oblong:
It takes some getting used to.

Milo Oblong:
I'm a CEO with ADD.

Helga Phugly:
Hello! Am I invisible? I'll arrange a little accident and you'll never see it coming.

Milo Oblong:
Your armpit is really wet.

Helga Phugly:
Yeah. This is going to be really sweet.

Milo Oblong:
What are you doing?

Pickles Oblong:
Burying beer. Aw, crud. That means I drank gopher poison.

Mikey Butts:
Do you have anything that could distract people from my buttocks?

Shop Woman:
A nuclear war?

Helga:
Ha! You're funny! You're also OLD...

Susie:
Soon you will die. Then we will dig up your grave, and do embarrassing things to your corpse, a-la Weekend at Bernie's 2.

Funzie:
Aaaaaaaaaaaayyyy.

The Debbies:
And that shows how I'm directly descended from Cinderella.

Mr. Phugly:
But isn't Cinderella a storybook?

The Debbies:
You're a storybook!

The Debbies:
You realize if I go back I'll have to hate you.

Milo Oblong:
I know, it's part of God's great plan.

The Debbies:
[the next day] Cute shoes.

[the Debbies continue clamoring]

Milo Oblong:
Bye, Debbie.

The Debbies:
Ew!

Beth Oblong:
I think I'm catching amonia.

Bob Oblong:
It's pneumonia, Beth.

Beth Oblong:
It's too cold for silent P's.

Jawless Peggy Weggy:
Will I marry a handsome man and have beautiful children?

Fortune Teller:
No.

Jawless Peggy Weggy:
You didn't look at my palm.

Fortune Teller:
I don't have to.

The Coach:
Boys you're speed has gone from 2 min 3 seconds to 4 min 8 seconds and you've clearly gained some weight.

Milo Oblong:
Look who's talking thunder thighs.

The Coach:
Now that's just cruel.

Biff Oblong:
Don't you EVER talk about the coach like that again.

Milo Oblong:
Hey, Mom, I found a spear gun! Can we go to Sea World?

Bob Oblong:
[after seeing Milo trying to saw his bed in half] Come on Milo it's time for school.

Milo Oblong:
I'm almost through Dad just give me a minute.

Bob Oblong:
Now Milo you know you're not supposed to handle anything sharper than your a boiled egg.

Milo Oblong:
It's not fair dad. Why can't I go to normal school like everyone else? Why do I have to go to a school for phsychos?

Bob Oblong:
Wait a minute there Milo. It's not a school for phsychos. It's a school for the socially uplifted.

Peggy:
I can't wait to get to school and resume learning.

Helga:
I can't wait 'til you drown in your own saliva.

Susie:
Drowning is my third favorite way to die; but they're all good.

Bob Oblong:
Where's Milo?

Beth Oblong:
Milo said he's not going to school.

Pickles Oblong:
Beth, honey, nobody likes a tattletale.

Bob Oblong:
I do. They're an essential part of any family. You keep right on tattling, sweetypie.

Beth Oblong:
Daddy has a magazine with naked ladies hugging.

Bob Oblong:
Aw, crimany!

Milo Oblong:
You may control my mind, but you'll never control my ass!

Peggy:
Let's see there's the popular kids, the jocks, the nerds and then there's us.

Helga Phugly:
Hey don't lump me in with you loosers. I am accepted by all groups. Hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie.

The Debbies:
Ewww!

Pristine Klimer:
Oh, Pickles, I love your hair... where'd you buy it?

Pickles Oblong:
Some whore. I think it was your mother.

Bob Oblong:
Where's Milo?

Beth Oblong:
Milo says he's not going to school.

Pickles Oblong:
Beth, honey, nobody likes a tattletale.

Bob Oblong:
I do. They're an essential part of any family.

Beth Oblong:
Daddy has a magazine with naked ladies hugging.

Bob Oblong:
Aw, crimany!

Milo Oblong:
You live in a fantasy world, don't you, Helga?

Helga Phugly:
What was that? I was busy thinking about my hundreds and hundreds of boyfriends.

Beth Oblong:
[after Mr Klimer picks up Scottie] Can I go with you?

George Klimer:
No.

Susie:
Before I found my pet clam I was lackluster, and morose.

Mikey Butts:
That's a coin purse.

Susie:
Oh... It's just one blow after another.

Doctor:
Well, I could remove his testicles. That often calms them down.

Bob Oblong:
We were kinda hoping for grandchildren.

Doctor:
You're a real idiot, aren't you?

Bob Oblong:
Alright, now that's darned close to crossing the line.

Bob Oblong:
Well wrap me in bacon and call me rumaki.

Beth Oblong:
I'd like beef without any bovine growth hormones. I don't want another one of these sticking out of my head.

[Pickles Oblong picks up the phone]

Pickles Oblong:
Hello? No Beth is right... Oh My GOD I left Beth behind at the store! I'm coming baby.

Pickles Oblong:
This stool softener, do I take it internally or apply it directly to the stool?

Beth Oblong:
Don't worry, she'll get arrested again soon.

Bob Oblong:
Honey, you left Beth at the store?

Pickles Oblong:
[clutching her vodka bottle] I could have sworn she drove home.

Milo Oblong:
Sir, I'm just a little boy in drag selling cookies.

Biff Oblong:
Coach always says, "Heart, obedience, motivation, oppurtunity." H.O.M.O.

Beth Oblong:
That spells homo.

Chip Oblong:
You don't know how to spell.

Milo:
We have our imaginations. Inside our brains is an entire universe of fun. Disneyland! Six Flags! Euro Disney! They're all in there, and all we have to do is tap into it!

Mikey:
How do we do that?

Milo:
(sadly) I don't know.