The Party

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Birdie Num Num

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Thirty days have September, October, June and February, all the rest have 29, except my brother who got six months.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Wisdom is the province of the aged, but the heart of a child is pure.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Howdy partiner

Director:
You.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Me?

Director:
Yes, you. Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off! You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make another movie again!

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Does that include television, sir?

Director:
You ready? Action!

[Hrundi sneaks up behind a man and tries to stab him with a knife, he wears a very large wrist watch]

Director:
[jumps to his feet] Cut, damn it! Cut! [very patiently] Mr. Bakshi.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Yes, sir.

Director:
Has it occurred to you...that the period of our picture is 1878?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Yes, indeed, sir. I am well aware...that that is the period of the film.

Director:
Mr. Bakshi, are you also aware...that in 1878 they weren't wearing underwater watches?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Yes, sir. I know that. They had not even been invented.

Director:
You got the time?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
[looks at his watch] Yes, it's... [freezes] oh, my God.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
We have a saying in India...

Michelle Monet:
Yes?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Yes.

Michelle Monet:
Well?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Well what?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Hrundi V. Bakshi.

Michelle Monet:
Pardon?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
That is what my name is called.

C. S. Divot:
You mashuga!

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
I am not your sugar.

[A waiter carries a plate of hors d'oeuvres, oblivious that Hrundi's shoe is on top of it]

Waiter:
Would you care for some hors-d'oeuvres sir?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
I am on a diet, but to hell with it! [Takes his shoe]

C. S. Divot:
Who do you think you are?

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
In India, we don't think who we are. We know who we are.

[last lines]

Michelle Monet:
Oh, here's your hat.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Oh, look... you keep it.

Michelle Monet:
But you may need it.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
No, I'd like you to keep it.

Michelle Monet:
All right. If you think that you should want it or need it sometimes...

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Well, if I need it... I could always come, perhaps, and pick it up.

Michelle Monet:
That would be very nice.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
When would you be available for me to pick up my hat?

Michelle Monet:
Well... [laughs shyly] maybe next week.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
I'll come and get it then.

Michelle Monet:
OK.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
For I'd love to have my hat back.

Michelle Monet:
Goodbye.

Hrundi V. Bakshi:
Bye bye.

If you've ever been to a wilder party... you're under arrest