The Scorpion King

[after rescuing Jesup from certain death]

Mathayus:
You're lucky we have the same mother.

Arpid:
Let me tell you, after a long day of looting and pillaging, there is no greater city than Gomorrah... except maybe Sodom.

Jesup:
Live free.

Mathayus:
Die well.

Mathayus:
Live free.

Balthazar:
Rule well.

Arpid:
Where are we going?

Mathayus:
The Valley of the Dead.

Arpid:
No one goes through the Valley of the Dead. That's why they call it the Valley of the Dead.

[the Scorpion King & the sorceress ride away on the camel]

Arpid:
Wait for me please!

[Memnon's Guards can be heard heading towards Mathayus and his young guide]

Mathayus:
Get ready! I'll kill half, you kill half!

Urchin:
[the boy stares at him quizically]

Mathayus:
All right. I'll kill them all!

Urchin:
[Tugs on Mathayus' arm] Why don't we go around and not kill any?

[Mathayus revives an unconscious Arpid]

Arpid:
What happened?

Mathayus:
You got us in! I knew you could do it. A jug of your finest wine for my road-weary friend here.

Arpid:
Wait a minute... the last thing that, that I remember was this huge Akkadian fist coming straight into my...

The Sorceress:
Rivers of blood will never bring peace.

Memnon:
But they will bring obedience. That is enough for now.

[about the catapult in his laboratory]

Philos:
It was meant to be a quick means of transportation, but there was a little problem with the landings.

Balthazar:
Watch yourself Akkadian

Mathayus:
No need for concern, Miss.

Balthazar:
Ohh he's gonna pay for that.

[Mathayus, Arpid, and the Sorceress have stopped at a pond]

The Sorceress:
Do you think it's safe to drink?

[Arpid jumps into the pond]

Mathayus:
Not anymore.

[Mathayus enters a room where Philos is working]

Philos:
Good lord. Are you going to kill me?

Mathayus:
Maybe later.

Philos:
Like ALL of my inventions, Memnon will try to use it for war.

Mathayus:
Where is Memnon?

Philos:
Ay, you mean to kill him, do you?

Mathayus:
[raises his sword to Philos' throat] Yes.

Balthazar:
Who dies first?

The Sorceress:
If you face Memnon, you'll die! That is your destiny.

Mathayus:
I make my own destiny. [they kiss]

Queen Isis:
You're judgment is clouded!

Balthazar:
My judgment keeps all of you alive!

Mathayus:
I've come for the woman... and your head.

Mathayus:
[after catching their fee] As long as one of us still breathes, the Sorcerer will die.

[they turn to leave. Balthazar pulls Mathayus's kama out of a pole]

Balthazar:
Assassin!

[Mathayus turns, Balthazar throws the kama. Mathayus catches it]

Mathayus:
Him... we'll kill for free.

Jesup:
Horses are faster.

Mathayus:
But camels are smarter.

Mathayus:
And how is it you see this? I thought you lost your powers when you... [arches brow, suggestively]

The Sorceress:
Can you think of a better way to keep a king from taking advantage? [smiles] Neither could my ancestors.

Mathayus:
You! You betrayed your own father?

Takmet:
Yes. He was very shocked.

[holds up his father's head]

Takmet:
You could tell by the look on his face.

Arpid:
[tied upside down over a fire] Stop! Stop, listen to me! I am a high priest of Set! Spare me, and I shall bless thee in five different languages!

Torturer:
You'll scream in five different languages, horse thief.

[first lines]

[the barbarian chieftain is holding up a skull]

Barbarian Chieftain:
We have killed Babylonians!

[the barbarians cheer, he holds up another]

Barbarian Chieftain:
We have killed Mesopotamians!

[the barbarians cheer]

Barbarian Chieftain:
But we have never had the pleasure of killing... an Akkadian.

Jesup:
[Tied up] May the gods have pity on you, for my brother will not.

[Mathayas storms in and kills the Barbarians]

Mathayus:
I may be a king, but I'm a wrestler first. [piledrives guard]

[Mathayus and Arpid are buried up to their necks in sand. Around them, the guard drops burning scraps of cloth into the ant mounds]

Arpid:
Fascinating, isn't it? The smoke, it causes the fire ants to abandon their homes, you see?

[the fire ants swarm out of the mounds, towards them]

Arpid:
All the sooner to feast on our naked heads.

[laughs]

Mathayus:
You think this is funny?

Arpid:
It's a little bit funny, yes. You see, I am about to escape, while you on the other hand are about to die a horrible death, for leaving me to die last night!

[after getting inside the city gates]

Mathayus:
All right, that was the easy part. Everybody know what to do?

Balthazar:
Cripple the guards.

Philos:
Ignite the powder.

Arpid:
And try not to get killed.

[after getting inside the city, the Urchin pokes his head out of the wagon]

Mathayus:
What are you doing here? You could get hurt!

Urchin:
So could you!

Balthazar:
Where do you think you're going with my horse?

Arpid:
To Gomorroh. Nothing we say will stop him.

Balthazar:
Without your sorceress?

Mathayus:
She returned to save the lives of you and your people. I won't let her face Memnon's wrath alone. Step aside.

Balthazar:
Akkadian, you're riding to your death. If I let you ride alone... [pause. Balthazar grins]

Balthazar:
What glory would there be left for me?

[walking through the desert, Mathayus, Arpid, and Cassandra hear a huge explosion and a plume of smoke rises. Philos appears, soot-covered and grinning ecstatically]

Philos:
It works! It works!

[sees them]

Philos:
My lady! How lovely to see you in this desolate place! Here, let me show you! It works! Come, come!

[Cassandra runs to him]

Philos:
My lady sorceress... you see? I worked it out. My Chinese formula. My magic powder works! All I needed was salt - peter salt. It was here all the time! This place is just full of it! By the way, do any of you happen to have any water?