The Terror of Tiny Town

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, we're going to present for your approval a novelty picture with an all midget cast, the first of it's kind to ever be produced. I'm told that it has everything, that is everything that a western should have.

The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson):
Seems to me that I smell something that should be buried - smells mighty like a polecat.

The Rich Uncle (Jim 'Tex' Preston):
Why, you!

[opening sequence]

The Hero (Buck Lawson):
I'm the hero. After this picture's out, I'll be the biggest cowboy star in Hollywood.

The Villain (Bat Haines):
I'm the villain. I'm the toughest hombre that ever lived, and I ain't afraid o' the biggest one o' you. I'm the Terror of Tiny Town, and that's the star part.

The Hero (Buck Lawson):
That's what you think.

The Villain (Bat Haines):
Ye-eah. That's what I think!

Announcer:
Wait a minute! Men! Men! Wait a minute!

The Sheriff:
I'm warnin' you, Tex. Don't start no trouble in town.

The Rich Uncle (Jim 'Tex' Preston):
I don't want trouble. But I won't run away from it, either!

First cowpoke:
I wonder who those hombres are?

Second cowpoke:
Let's pick up the trail and see what they're up to.

The Hero (Buck Lawson):
Dad, I jumped a bunch o' rustlers at work.

The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson):
Rustlers!

The Hero (Buck Lawson):
They left in such a hurry, they forgot their branding iron.

The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson):
(examining iron) Cheap Work Pete!

The Hero (Buck Lawson):
That's the way I read it.

The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson):
Why that low-down ki-yoat!