The Wizard of Oz

Dorothy:
Someplace where there isn't any trouble... [tossing a piece of her cruller to Toto] ...do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or train. It's far, far away... behind the moon... beyond the rain.[singing] Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Dorothy:
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. We must be over the rainbow!

Dorothy:
Well, I... I think that it... that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em... and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with.

Dorothy:
There's no place like home; there's no place like home; there's no place like home...

Dorothy:
[last lines] Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home - home! And this is my room - and you're all here - and I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And... oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home!

Scarecrow:
Why, if I had a brain I could...[singing] I could wile away the hours, Conferrin' with the flowers, Consultin' with the rain. And my head I'd be scratchin' While my thoughts were busy hatchin' If I only had a brain.

Tin Man:
[singing] When a man's an empty kettle, He should be on his mettle, And yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presumin' That I could be kinda human If I only had a heart.

Cowardly Lion:
[singing] Yeah, it's sad, believe me, Missy, When you're born to be a sissy, Without the vim and verve. But I could show my prowess, Be a lion, not a "mowess," If I only had the nerve.

Wicked Witch of the West:
[to Glinda] Very well - I'll bide my time. [to Dorothy] And as for you, my fine lady, it's true I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like; but just try to stay out of my way - just try! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too! [With a burst of laughter, she whirls around and vanishes in a burst of smoke and fire and a clap of thunder.]

Wicked Witch of the West:
[last words] Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I'm going! Ohhhh - Ohhhhhhhhhh!

The Wizard:
I AM OZ.... the Great and Powerful! Who are you?

The Wizard:
Silence! Whippersnapper!

The Wizard:
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The Great Oz has spoken!

The Munchkins:
[singing] Ding Dong, the witch is dead, Which old witch? The wicked witch. Ding Dong, the wicked witch is dead!

The Munchkins:
[singing] You're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz If ever a Wiz there was. If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was The Wizard of Oz is one because Because, because, because, because, because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

Almira Gulch:
Gale?

Uncle Henry Gale:
Well, howdy, Miss Gulch.

Gulch:
I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy!

Henry:
Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?

Gulch:
What she's done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!

Henry:
You mean she bit you?

Gulch:
No, her dog.

Henry:
Oh. She bit her dog, eh?

Gulch:
...No!

Dorothy:
How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow:
I don't know....but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

Dorothy:
Do - do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?

Tin Man:
Mmm, we might.

Dorothy:
Oh!

Scarecrow:
Animals that - that eat straw?

Tin Man:
Uh, some. But mostly lions and tigers and bears.

Dorothy:
Lions?

Scarecrow:
And tigers?

Tin Man:
[nodding] And bears.

Dorothy:
Oh! Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!

Dorothy [noticing the horse drawing their carriage is one of changing colors]:
What kind of a horse is that? I've never seen a horse like that before!

Coachman:
No, and never will again, I fancy! There's only one of him, and he's it. He's the Horse of a Different Color you've heard tell about!

The Greatest Picture In The History Of Entertainment!

Gaiety! Glory! Glamour!

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's Technicolor Triumph!

Biggest Screen Sensation Since "Snow White"!

The Mighty Miracle Show That Is The Talk Of America!

Amazing Sights To See ! The Tornado . . . Munchkinland . . . Horse Of A Different Color . . . Startling Balloon Ascent . . . Flying Monkeys . . . Trees That Talk And Throw Apples

Mighty Miracle Show Of 1000 Delights!

Glinda:
Keep tight inside of them. Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly.

Wicked Witch:
You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well!

Glinda:
Hohohoho, Rubbish, you have no power here, be gone, before someone drops a house on you too!

Scarecrow:
That's the trouble, I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain... only straw.

Dorothy:
How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow:
I don't know....but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

Dorothy:
Yes, I guess you're right.

Captain of the Winkie Guard:
[After looking at the remains of the Wicked Witch of the West] She's dead! You killed her!

Dorothy:
I didn't mean to kill her. It's just the scarecrow was on fire.

Captain of the Winkie Guard:
HAIL TO DOROTHY, THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!!!

Winkie Guards:
HAIL TO DOROTHY, THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!!!

Wizard of Oz:
As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

Tin Man:
But I still want one.

Dorothy:
Goodbye, Tin Man. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.

Tin Man:
Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking...

Dorothy:
Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage.

Cowardly Lion:
I never would've found it if it hadn't been for you...

Dorothy:
[to Scarecrow] I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Oh what a world! What a world!

"But how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" "Well, I don't know--but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking."

Cowardly Lion:
Courage! What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in ape-ricot? What have they got that I ain't got? (Courage) You can say that again!

Cowardly Lion:
Read what my medal says. Courage! Ain't it the truth, ain't it the truth!

The Wizard:
Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.

The Wizard:
[to the Tin Man] A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

The Wizard:
[to the Lion] You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you're confusing courage with wisdom.

Glinda:
[to Dorothy] Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Glinda:
Only bad witches are ugly.

Glinda:
[to the Wicked Witch of the West] You have no power here! Begone, before somebody drops a house on you too!

Glinda:
You always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.

Aunt Em:
[about Toto] He's really gentle... with gentle people, that is.

Aunt Em:
Almira Gulch! Just because you own half the county doesn't mean that you have the power to run the rest of us. For 23 years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you, and now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!

Guard:
The Wizard says go away! [Goes back to the Wizard's palace]

Dorothy, Cowardly Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin Man:
[shocked together] Go away?

Scarecrow:
[sadly] Looks like we came a long way for nothing.

Dorothy:
[sobs and sits down] And I was so happy. I thought I was on my way home.

Tin Man:
[comforting Dorothy] Don't cry, Dorothy. We're gonna get you to the Wizard.

Scarecrow:
[agreeing] We certainly are.

[The guard opens the door's window, regretfully]

Dorothy:
[crying] Auntie Em was so good to me, and I never appreciated it, running away and hurting her feelings. Professor Marvel said she was sick. She may be dying and it's all my fault.

[The guard starts crying]

Dorothy:
I'll never forgive myself. Never, never, never. [Scarecrow and Tin Man continue to comfort Dorothy]

Guard:
[sobbing] Please, don't cry anymore. I'll get you to the Wizard somehow. Come on. I had an Aunt Em myself once. [Sobs and opens the door for Dorothy and her friends]

Wizard of Oz:
The great and powerful Oz knows why you have come. Step forward, Tin Man.

[Tin Man slowly and shakily steps forward]

Wizard of Oz:
You dare to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, collection of caliginous junk.

Tin Man:
[whimpers] Y-yes, sir. Y-yes, Your Honor. You see, a while back, we were walking down the yellow brick road and--

The Wizard of Oz:
QUIET!

[Tin Man runs back to his group]

The Wizard of Oz:
And you, Scarecrow, have the effrontery to ask for a brain, you billowing bale of bovine fodder.

Scarecrow:
Yes, Your Honor. I mean, Your Excellency. I mean, Y-Your Wizardry.

The Wizard of Oz:
Enough. And you, Lion.

[The Cowardly Lion walks forward, but still afraid]

The Wizard of Oz:
Well?

[The Cowardly Lion faints, and Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin Man try to get him to wake up]

Dorothy:
[angrily, to the Wizard] You oughta be ashamed of yourself, frightening him like that when he came to you for help.

The Wizard of Oz:
Silence, whippersnapper! The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests.

Cowardly Lion:
[comes to] What's that? What'd he say? What'd he say?

The Wizard of Oz:
But first, you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task. Bring me the broomstick of the Witch of the West.

Tin Man:
But we have to kill her together.

The Wizard of Oz:
Bring me her broomstick, and I'll grant your requests. Now, go.

Cowardly Lion:
But what if she kills us first?

The Wizard of Oz:
I said go!

[Once again frightened, the Cowardly Lion runs out of the Wizard's throne room and jumps through the window]

Wicked Witch of the West:
Take your army to the Haunted Forest and bring me that girl and her dog. You can do what you like with the others, but I want her alive and unharmed. They'll give you no trouble, I promise you that. I've sent a little insect on ahead to take the fight out of them. [cackles] Take special care of those ruby slippers. I want those most of all. Now, fly! Fly! [The winged monkeys fly out of the castle] Fly, fly, fly!

Wicked Witch of the West:
[cackling] Going so soon? I wouldn't hear of it. Why, my little party is just beginning.