To Hare Is Human

[first lines]

Bugs Bunny:
[Wile E. has trapped him in a bag] Eh, whatcha got in the bag, Doc?

Wile E. Coyote:
Oh, I say. I'm terribly sorry. One mustn't be rude, even to one's breakfast.

Bugs Bunny:
Breakfast?

Wile E. Coyote:
Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Coyote. Wile E. Coyote, genius.

Bugs Bunny:
Have brain, eh? Hey, that must be very handy at times.

Wile E. Coyote:
Why, yes, it has its advantages. For example, you asked me just now what I had in the bag, and I was supposed to say, "A rabbit," to which you would reply, "What are you going to do with him?" Then I was supposed to say something stupid, which would enable you to get very clever and so on and so on and on. When by this time we both know very well that there is nothing left in the bag.

Bugs Bunny:
[already out of the bag] There isn't? I don't like to disagree with no genius, Doc, but there... but there is.

Wile E. Coyote:
[chuckles] Well...

[looks in the bag; something inside explodes and singes his face]

Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Carrots wait for no one, so I'll pick them now / Before they are eaten by some slobby cow.

[Last lines]

Bugs Bunny:
[Inside the UNIVAC] Of course, the real beauty of this machine is that it has only one moving part.

Wile E. Coyote:
[referring to Bugs, after suffering one too many dynamite explosions] Poor chap. He had his chance. Now he must take the consequences.

Bugs Bunny:
[after the grenades spring back at Wile E. and explode in his face] One of these days, I'm gonna have to have that spring fixed.