UmJammer Lammy

Captain Fussenpepper:
I'll miss my train...

PaRappa:
You'll miss your train...

Captain Fussenpepper:
I'll miss my brain.

PaRappa:
May I help you?

Chop Chop Master Onion:
[Repeated line] Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind!

Paul Chuck:
[Repeated line] Never use Joe Chin's Chains for them, no!

Lammy:
[voice on the answering machine] Hi, this is Lammy. I can't answer the phone right now, because... because... because the MilkCan team's live show is coming up real soon. I'm not really ready for it, but, but Ka-Katy, Ma-san and I have spent our last time in the studio; my solo is not really the way I want it to be, so I've been practicing, and hope it turns out to be okay. Anyways, please leave your name, and a b-b-b-brief message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, okay? Bye-bye.

[Japan/PAL version only]

Lammy:
[wakes up] Phew. It was a dream.

[she looks around and wonders where she is]

Lammy:
Am I... dead?

[she gets up and walks around]

Lammy:
Is this hell? If I'm dead, then the game's over! What a stupid game!

[as if on cue, the fake end credits crawl upward until a pumpkin head guy, Jack Smash, emerges from out of nowhere]

Jack Smash:
Oh, there's the guitarist! Come on, hurry! Hurry! We need you out there!

Lammy:
Huh?

[he takes her and runs off before stopping the fake credits]

Jack Smash:
Not yet! Not yet!

[Lammy is tossed into Teriyaki Yoko's concert]

Teriyaki Yoko:
[angry] Who do you think you are, coming in this late? Don't underestimate me just 'cuz I'm an idol!

[Japan/PAL version]

Jack Smash:
[to Lammy] C'mon, it's time to do it!

Teriyaki Yoko:
[picks up Lammy's guitar and threatens her] I'm gonna kill you!

Lammy:
Eh, I think I'm dead already.

Teriyaki Yoko:
[realizing this] Then I'll put you back to life!

Lammy:
[in hope] Really? Can you really do that?

Teriyaki Yoko:
Yeah, only if you play right! Come on!

[U.S. version]

Jack Smash:
[to Lammy] C'mon, it's time to do it!

Lammy:
[clueless] Um, no no no. You see, I was on my way to my own show, but I ended up here.

Teriyaki Yoko:
[surprised] How did that happen? Anyways, I'll help you get to where you're going.

Lammy:
[excited] Really? Can you really do that?

Teriyaki Yoko:
Yeah, only if you play right! Come on!

Katy Kat:
[waves at the crowd] Alright, wasn't that a groove? Thanks everyone!

Lammy:
Yup! Who's my next challenger?

Teriyaki Yoko:
[singing] I know you're the wild and violent flame. I still smell your smoke and I can't play straight with your game. That doesn't mean that I am yours, I'm not alone, I'm not a fool, I have a lot to give. In any case, it's up to you, if you can show that you can give more than I got to give.

Teriyaki Yoko:
[singing] It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and up and down. Somebody come and rescue me before an angel comes to take me 'round and 'round.

[Teriyaki Yoko is impressed at Lammy's guitar playing]

Teriyaki Yoko:
[takes out the microphone and presses the button] Alright. This is the supersonic transportation device, and it will send you back to where you came from.

Lammy:
[relieved] Eh... OK. Cool.

[the fax machine that has emerged from the stage floor lights up, and a dark version of Lammy, called Rammy, emerges from the machine]

Rammy:
Phew. Is the show over?

[she sees a surprised Lammy and is angry at her]

Rammy:
[points the finger] So you're the one who took my job!

[Lammy struggles to get into the device as Rammy speaks]

Rammy:
My watch is broken, my guitar strings broke, my costume has wrinkles, and I don't get any messages on my beeper, all because of you!

Lammy:
Say what?

Rammy:
[shouting] Let's see who's the better guitarist!

Lammy:
[looks at the device that has activated] Eh, I'm really in a hurry. Maybe some other day!

[she is pulled inside the device as she finishes speaking, and Rammy runs up to it]

Rammy:
[tries pulling Lammy out, to no avail] Hey wait! Get back here!