VAmL

Gina:
Now that is one f***ing hot librarian.

Lynn:
This is a library. Shh.

Gina:
What? I'm just saying?

Lynn:
I know. But you are supposed to be quiet in a library.

Jake:
[Filtered on Answering Machine] Hi, you've reached Jake and Mittens.

Joe:
JAKE! You fat retarded f***. What the f*** was that? Mittens? Who the hell calls their cat Mittens? That's like calling your dog Rover or your cock Dick. Think of creative names like Roast beef, Grimace or Cum Dumpster. [pause] Anyway, we have a job for you. It's pretty easy and the pay is excellent. Go to Independence Park, second bench. A package will be taped under there with half the cash up front and all the details. Obviously you're not home so I'll try your cell phone. And change your f***ing mess- [Beep]

Jake:
[Whispered] Why you'd have to bite daddy Mittens?

Robin:
Go to Colt State Park.

Xander:
Why?

Robin:
Because, apparently, Joe is chasing the two little lesbians down somewhere around there.

Xander:
Chasing them on foot?

Robin:
Yeah.

Xander:
Why?

Robin:
For a dramatic chase sequence. How the f*** should I know?

Imp:
You guys are so funny. Anyway, for the real reason I'm here. I give you- [Unveils sword] -The Slayer Slayer.

Robin:
The what?

Imp:
The Slayer Slayer. This sword was forged over a thousand years ago for a Vampire named Darius to kill the feared Slayer named Gregor the Righteous. Since then this sword has been used by powerful vampire lords to kill Slayers. Of course, it really isn't called the Slayer Slayer but I've forgotten the name. It's something Latin, so f*** it.

Seth:
What's the catch?

Imp:
The what?

Seth:
The catch.

Imp:
None. I am loaning the sword to you free of charge or favor.

Seth:
Bullshit.

Imp:
OK. Fine. I want to watch. You know how I love violence, vengeance and vulgarity so.

Seth:
[Hesitates] Deal.