Watching the Detectives

Denise:
I bet you're gonna say next it's not you, it's me.

Neil:
No, no, no, it's definitely you. Look, Denise, you're not enough like Katharine Ross in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Denise:
I don't know what that means!

Neil:
She was so supportive, you know. She... she didn't make Paul Newman feel stupid. She went along with it.

Neil:
You never rented a movie?

Violet:
Well, I've been to a movie. Does that count?

Neil:
Um, I don't really know where to begin, uh... I told myself I wouldn't cry. No, seriously I have so many people to thank.

Violet:
So which one should I rent...? So which one do you recommend? [Hits Neil on back with videos] All of a sudden you're a mute?

Neil:
Oh, err, I take it your talking to me now?

Violet:
Who else would I be talking to?

Lucien:
Ya know, we could do this later if you want?

Neil:
Oh god Lucien, she's ruined it for me Lucien. I mean it's all so boring now!

Lucien:
Hey, hey let's put in a movie?

Neil:
No, no more movies. It's no use, it's not enough anymore, ya know? It's just all so mundane and so predictable Lucien. Oh hey look! It's Jayson. Jayson's going to come in here and he's going to hand me a package, and then he's going hand me his thing, and I'm going to sign the thing and I'm going to hand it right back to him, and then he's going to get in his truck and he's going to drive of. Oh, it's... it's so predictable Lucien, it's not enough anymore, ya know? Where's the... where's the adventure, you know? [while signing Jayson's package] there's no adventure man. Where's the adventure Lucien?

Jay:
You signed it Neil Adventure. [Neil signs it again] You crossed out Adventure and wrote adventure again.

Neil:
What does it matter Jayson? Huh! [Neil walks away]

Jay:
It matters because I'm actually responsible for any package that doesn't have a valiad signature or receipt...

Lucien:
[Goes to sign the package] Jesus Christ...

Jay:
I don't make the rules.

Lucien:
Lighten up Jayson.

Lucien:
So what was the Bet?

Jonathan:
If the bugs won, I could shove a burrito in your face.

Lucien:
Well you know the last time you lost, I was supposed to get to piss on your foot, but I never did.

Jonathan:
What you waiting for? You want to piss on my foot, be my guest.

Lucien:
Hey Neil!

Neil:
Yeah?

Lucien:
Want to see me piss on his foot?

Neil:
Uh, sure, yeah... Just not in the store.

Jonathan:
Did she have any wild mood swings?

Neil:
No, she was... she was, you know, she was pretty consistently out there.

Jonathan:
Yeah alright then, she's not bi-polar.

Neil:
Look, Denise, you're not enough like Katherine Ross in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."

Denise:
[Exasperated] I don't know what that means!

Neil:
She was so supportive, you know... she, she didn't make Paul Newman feel stupid. She went along with it...

Denise:
Well, you know what, Neil, you can't go along with someone who's going nowhere. Someone who runs a shitty little video store that doesn't even make any money and, and spends his days hanging around a bunch of dorks talking about "The Seventh Seal."

Neil:
Hey, you liked "The Seventh Seal."

Denise:
I was FAKING it, you sucker!

Denise:
[Mockingly imitating her fake reverence of Bergman] Oh... oh, THIS is Bergman? The IMAGERY, it's so POWERFUL! WHAT a GENIUS! I'm SO HAPPY you made me watch this... Hah!

Jonathan:
Nobody comes out to see these local bands. These are shitty bands, man. Who wants to watch a bunch of high school metal heads with names like "Shittin' Bricks" and "Trojan Whores"?

Neil:
"Trojan Whores"?

Jonathan:
Yeah

Neil:
I like that.

Violet:
[Entering Neil's video store, talking to someone on her headset phone] No, I don't mind. I'm in the video store right now... No, it's one of those little shitty ones.

Violet:
I gotta' tell ya' though, you missed one hell of a Happy Hour.

Violet:
[Drunkenly slurring her words] They got the best goddamned 'peanuss' in town.

Neil:
What?

Violet:
"Peanuts": P - E - A -... nuts.