Xena XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody

[first lines]

Xena:
[leading horse] Hold!

Gabrielle:
[after dismounting] You know, Xena, I'm really looking forward to spending time with you. Just you and me. While no one's trying to kill us right now.

Xena:
I know, Gabrielle, but tales of someone hustling local villagers at cards sounds just like Autolycus and we need to go check it out.

Gabrielle:
I know. I know you're right. I'm just disappointed.

Xena:
We'll have our time, Gabrielle. Don't worry. Come on.

[last lines]

Xena:
Gabrielle, I love you.

Gabrielle:
I love you.

Hercules:
[to Xena] I'll help you find her.

Aphrodite:
OK Ares, what is it that you want?

Ares:
Are you aware of what your son Cupid, is doing down there on Earth?

Aphrodite:
No, I wasen't aware. But he is a God as well, I don't think it is any of your concern.

Ares:
Is that so? Perhaps we should see what Zeus thinks about that?

Aphrodite:
Uh, no wait, wait. Wait. Can't-can't we work something out?

Ares:
I am the God of war. And your spell will not last long on me. I will give you one mortal day to retrieve your son cupid before you go to Zeus, if you give yourself to me.

Aphrodite:
Mmmm. I will show you, Ares that love is stronger then war.

Ares:
Show me. How powerful love is.

Hercules:
Xena.

Xena:
Hercules. It's Gabrielle. Draco has her.

Xena:
[to Hercules] I'm lucky to have... a friend like you.

Xena:
Gabrielle!

Gabrielle:
Xena! wait,

Draco:
Xena, So glad you could join out party.

Hercules:
Sorry I had to crash your party.

Draco:
Hercules, I see Xena still has you fighting her battles for her, and I say I'm a bit disappointed.

Xena:
Now we'll get that alone time Gabrielle. Just you and me. Ya looking forward to it?

Gabrielle:
[disappointed voice] I guess. I put us both in danger Xena. What if you were the one to take the arrow? I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I'm a weak link.

Xena:
Don't ever say that. Don't ever *think* that. It's your love that makes me stronger. Don't you know that?

[Xena and Gabrielle kiss]

Xena:
C'mon let's go home.

Xena:
Gabrielle!

Gabrielle:
Xena! wait,

Draco:
Xena, So glad you could join our party.