End of Watch2012

Mike Zavala:
It's so funny to text. Who are you textting? That same b*tch?

Brian Taylor:
Dude, yeah. She's smart, man. She's like the first girl I can actually have a conversation with. You know she has a Master of Sciences in Fluid Hydraulics.

Mike Zavala:
Fluid Hydraulics?

Brian Taylor:
Yes.

Mike Zavala:
I wouldn't brag about that, dude. That she has a Master's degree in Fluid Hydraulics.

Brian Taylor:
I date all these girls, man. They're smoking hot.

Mike Zavala:
Yeah, your little f***ing badge bunnies.

Brian Taylor:
I get laid without a badge, thank you very much.

Mike Zavala:
Because you were in the Marines. Don't ask, don't tell.

Brian Taylor:
But there's a pattern. An MO here. First date is dinner and a respectful kiss. Second date is full carnal knowledge. And the third date is dinner and uncomfortable silences when I try and discuss anything of merit. Then it's two or three booty calls and it's on to the next.

Mike Zavala:
Okay, I went to prom and I got married a week later and I ain't tapped anybody but Old Faithful for, like, eight years. So I don't know what you're tripping about, dude.

Brian Taylor:
Okay. Wait, look at me real quick.

Mike Zavala:
Uh-huh.

Brian Taylor:
Okay, ready? I want somebody to talk to. Not just sleep with. Do you f***ing understand what I'm saying?

Mike Zavala:
Oh yeah. White people get hung up on this f***ing soul mate bullshit. Just hook up with a chick that can cook and wants kids. Some b*tch that's down for you that won't f*** your friends and you're straight. Dude, you're the smartest motherf***er I know. You're not gonna find some chick that's as smart as you.

Brian Taylor:
Really, dude? I'm sorry that the perfect girl wasn't dropped in front of me when I was 18-years old.