Expiration Date2014/I

Engineer:
Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just bread that gets tumors!

Medic:
Not even tumors! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark zhat only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat! Here, vatch zhis!

[shakes specimen jar]

Medic:
Oh look! It hates me so much!

Engineer:
So, we're fine! Long as nobody teleports any bread.

Soldier:
Question.

Engineer:
[chuckles] What's your question, Soldier?

Soldier:
I teleported bread.

Engineer:
[upset] What?

Soldier:
You told me to.

Engineer:
[foreboding] How much?

Soldier:
I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days.

Medic:
[urgently] Vhere? Vhere have you been sending it?

[ground shakes as bread monster emerges]