Fatty Drives the Bus1999

Molly:
[outside Wrigley Field] Do they play baseball here?

Satan:
Yes.

Sam:
Can I go on the field today?

Satan:
I'm sorry, no.

Lana:
What year was it built?

Satan:
Uh, 19 [mumble mumble].

Bud:
Is there a bathroom here?

Satan:
Around the corner to the left - watch your butt.

Martin:
Is there a game today?

Satan:
There are 14 games today, all 28 major league teams will be in action, none of it will be taking place in this building.

Mamie:
Do you have an emery board?

Satan:
Yes. [he pulls an emery board out of his shirt pocket]

Chuck:
Do you prefer couches to armchairs?

Satan:
Depends on what I'm doing. If I'm lounging with a book, I might.

Mr. Zodsworth:
[while still aboard the bus] Didn't you once have a lizard?

Satan:
Yes, and his name was 'Bubbles.'

Bridget:
Yeah, do the Cubs need a new ballgirl?

Satan:
I don't care.