Get Smart2008

[Max and 99 are six miles outside of Smolensk, walking along a dirt road]

Maxwell Smart:
Okay, not to keep dwelling on this, but that was some kiss. How did you know that would work? Have you kissed other men who then plummeted to their deaths?

Agent 99:
Okay, okay! You know what, so far our entire "partnership" has consisted of me getting you out of trouble! Do you know why? It is because you keep leading!

Maxwell Smart:
Well...

Agent 99:
So here's how we stop that: I lead now! I'm the one with field experience, and you know nothing!

Maxwell Smart:
I beg to differ! [99 starts walking away] I looked up your field agent exam, and I scored...

Agent 99:
My *what*?

Maxwell Smart:
Your field agent exam! I scored eight points higher than you did! That is the difference between an A+ and an A-!

Agent 99:
[at the same time] This is not a classroom! This is real! You are really going to get yourself killed if you don't listen to me!

Maxwell Smart:
...A-! [beat; 99 glares at Max]

Agent 99:
Okay. Okay, you're faced with an assassin. What do you do?

Maxwell Smart:
I take out my gun... [pulls his gun out of its holster]... and I would shoot- [as Max raises his weapon in front of him, 99 snatches it from him and points it at his head]

Agent 99:
You don't have a gun.

Maxwell Smart:
I did until you took it!

Agent 99:
"Bang", you're dead!

Maxwell Smart:
No, I'm not. [99 points the gun at Max's heart]

Agent 99:
"Bang", you're dead!

Maxwell Smart:
Stop shooting me.

Agent 99:
You are dead! [points the gun at spots all over Max's upper body] Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Maxwell Smart:
I don't like it when you shoot me! Stop it. Stop shooting me! You've already said I was- [99 sticks Max's gun back into his pants] Hey.

Agent 99:
[quietly] Throw out your manual. I hear there are no grades. There's only "dead" and "not dead".

Maxwell Smart:
You know, I am not completely incompetent without a gun. I am a master in the art of ?Choi Kwang-Do. [gets into a warm-up stance, at which point 99 backhands him across the face] I was not ready!

Agent 99:
That's my point.

Maxwell Smart:
You know what- [99 slaps him again] Hey! What was that?