Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories2006

Lionel Makepeace:
Let's see what's up with our roving reporter, Fernando Martinez, out there in the field, discovering love firsthand. Fernando, where are you?

Fernando:
In the massage parlor, Lionel. It's fantastic! Boy, I mean these girls really know how to relax you! Baby!

Lionel Makepeace:
Fernando, this is a family show.

Fernando:
Where do you think babies come from, Lionel? Not from therapy, buddy. Or the stork. But from the power and the passion of a load of baby oil, and a woman to relax you. You see, we waste so much of our love when you make an abstract painting on her face, or a map of the Falkland Islands on your stomach, on a lonely night. But this is business class, baby! This is 1984. It is beautiful. Passion can be released. Boy, do I know that! All the ethnicities. Asians, the Swedes, the little Mexican girl... It is beautiful. Really incredible! Hey baby, I think I'm getting a little stress again! Come here!

Lionel Makepeace:
Uh, that was our roving reporter, Fernando Martinez. What a joker. Just broadcasting from a mall and pretending to be getting an erotic massage. As if. I mean, I think we all know love comes from the heart. And passion is a spiritual connection between two beautiful people. Not a cheap handjob in a seedy massage parlor. I never have, I never will. I'd rather dream of someone special.