How to Beat the High Co$t of Living1980

Elaine:
This is an emergency!

Power and Light man:
It always is.

Elaine:
[Lying] No, I am serious. My mother is a very sick woman. She's in the bed next to me with her kidney machine, which has kept her alive for seven years. This wonderful 84-year-old woman!

Elaine:
[pretending to talk to "mama"] What's that mama? The machine isn't going "ta-pocketa ta-pocketa ta-pocketa" anymore? Oh my God! No, I'm not talking to Oral Roberts on the phone mama, it's too late for that. But the man on the other end of the phone cares. You do care, don't you? You will turn the power back on, won't you?

Power and Light man:
Lady, that was beautiful, really terrific. I've been here seven years, and that's the best I've heard yet. Great performance. But look, all is not lost. Thrifti-Mart is open 24 hours.

Elaine:
What good will that do?

Power and Light man:
They sell beautiful candles! [hangs up the phone and laughs hysterically]