Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special2008

Jeff Dunham:
[reading "The Night Before Christmas"] "He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, / And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot."

Peanut:
Fat, drinking and driving, and a furry gay outfit, covered in soot, he's smoking, and you let him in the house because he said he had something for your kids.

[shakes his head]

Peanut:
What the hell kind of father are you anyway? If I were you, I'd check his I.D., then taser his fat ass! And how fat is this guy anyway? Everyone's always leaving him plates full of cookies. I think he's a diabetic, too, don't you think? You gotta leave a plate full of insulin! How about that? I can't wait to hear the story next year: "The Night Before Christmas, Part Two: Santa's On Dialysis and He's Missing a Leg"! And all his little dollies have poliosis!

Jeff Dunham:
[exasperated] Can I finish this story?

Peanut:
Oh, please do.