Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed1998

Jeff Foxworthy:
That is the official uniform of suspicious noises, underpants and a baseball bat. I don't know what we're hoping to find. Some guy in the living room in his underwear with a ball.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
And my dad didn't really didn't need to carry the baseball bat. 'Cause he always wore those big boxer shorts that were gapped open in the front.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
Oh, that gap is like a taser to a buglar. "Oh, shut the gap! Shut the gap!"

[takes his wallet out of his back pocket]

Jeff Foxworthy:
"Here, take *my* wallet! Just, please, shut that gap!"

[loud whoop from the audience]

Jeff Foxworthy:
You know my dad, do ya?

[laughter]