Joyeux No2005

Le Major:
Everyone to their posts!

Gordon:
[a moment of indecision] Every man to his post!

Le Major:
Quickly!

[the Scottish soldiers get in position along the trench wall]

German Soldiers:
[Someone in the German trench stands up and walks into No Man's Land] No, stay here! What're you doing? Come back!

Le Major:
Well, what the hell are you doing! Shoot the bloody Kraut!

[the Scottish soldiers look at each other; they don't fire]

Le Major:
What are you waiting for? Shoot him, God damn it! Holidays are over!

[the soldiers shoot in the air to warn the man in No Man's Land, who begins to run toward the French trench]

Le Major:
What the hell do you think you're playing at? Shoot him!

[Again the soldiers look at each other, shake their heads, and don't fire]

Le Major:
Shoot him!

[Jonathan shoots the man, who falls midway between the French and German trenches]

Le Major:
Stand down from your posts.

[They do]

Le Major:
Shame on you, Gordon. Shame on you.

[Ponchel's alarm clock rings in No Man's Land. Gordon looks out to see Lieutenant Audebert running to help the man Jonathan shot - Ponchel in a German uniform]

Ponchel:
Be silly to die disguised as a German, eh?

Lieutenant Audebert:
What the devil were you doing?

Ponchel:
I had a German help me. I saw my mother. We drank a coffee, just like before... You have a son.

[Lieutenant Audebert can no longer keep from crying]

Ponchel:
His name is Henri.

[Ponchel dies, and Lieutenant Audebert sobs even harder. Gordon and the Major look on from their trench, Gordon grave, the Major baffled]