Kung Fury2015

Kung Fury:
[narration] I'm a cop, and damn good at my job. It all began years ago, in the line of duty. Me and my partner were chasing down a mysterious kung-fu master.

[Flashback shows Kung Fury and Dragon cornering the red ninja in a back alley]

Kung Fury:
You're under arrest, punk!

Dragon:
Show us your hands.

[Kung Fury handcuffs the ninja]

Kung Fury:
Good work, Dragon.

Dragon:
He could've killed both of us with that crazy stunt. But goddammit, you the best partner I've ever had.

Kung Fury:
Thanks. I learned from the best.

[Kung Fury and Dragon high-five each other]

Kung Fury:
You're like a father to me.

[Dragon is suddenly sliced in half by the ninja]

Kung Fury:
[narration] With one fatal blow, he hit my partner. I could tell he was dead straight off.

[an angry Kung Fury points his gun at the ninja]

Kung Fury:
[narration] Before I could pull the trigger, I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra. I blacked out, and saw images of ancient Shaolin temples and monks mastering the art of kung-fu. There was an ancient prophecy about a new form of kung-fu so powerful, only one man can master it: The Chosen One. When I woke up, I saw the kung-fu master running towards me. I could feel my body mutate, into some sort of kung-fu freak of nature.

[Red ninja charges at Kung Fury with his sword. Kung Fury suddenly kicks him to the wall]

Red Ninja:
You! You are the Chosen One!

[Kung Fury grabs the ninja]

Kung Fury:
Knock knock.

Red Ninja:
Who's there?

[Kung Fury hesitates to find a punch line]

Kung Fury:
Knock... kles.

[Kung Fury punches the ninja and kicks him upwards before jumping up and kicking him down to a gasoline truck. He then grabs a strip of the ninja's outfit and wears it as a bandanna]

Kung Fury:
[narration] As a memento, I put on a strip of cloth from the dead kung-fu master. I decided I would use my new super kung-fu powers to fight crime. So I became the best cop in the world. I became Kung Fury.