Mad Dogs2002

[first lines]

Dr. Mackenzie:
I would get a job if I was you.

Rabbie Burns:
A job?

Dr. Mackenzie:
Aye, an undertaking or an appointment with a future profit, even of a trifling or temporary nature.

Rabbie Burns:
I don't know about that.

Dr. Mackenzie:
Well I can't keep you in the program any more, Rabbie. You're a 100% successful remission. You know, you are my pride and joy, Rabbie.

Rabbie Burns:
Well I don't feel too grand at the moment.

Dr. Mackenzie:
Are you hearing the voices again?

Rabbie Burns:
N-no.

Dr. Mackenzie:
You taken your pills today?

Rabbie Burns:
Religiously.

Dr. Mackenzie:
Well you can throw them away, because they're placebos.

Rabbie Burns:
Eh, come again?

Dr. Mackenzie:
Placebos, Rabbie. A medicine given to humor or gratify a patient, without having to exercise any curative effects. In a word, rubbish.

Rabbie Burns:
I thought I was feeling a bit less ship shape.

Dr. Mackenzie:
It's in your head Rabbie. That's what you've had for the last 21 days. Off the drugs and no relapses. It's all in the mind!

Rabbie Burns:
So that's it then.

Dr. Mackenzie:
That's it Rabbie! I've got to be going, your the last appointment of the week. Now have a good Sabbath. Go forth and do not multiply. Come and see me in three weeks time. Here's my office number if you need me before that. After hours leave a message. I *can* be there in an emergency. Anything short of an emergency and the wrath of God will descend upon in terrible and consuming fury!