Mo2010

[as Mo Mowlam comes out of the Commons, Peter Mandelson is waiting for her]

Mo Mowlam:
What are you doing here?

Peter Mandelson:
Observing the Northern Ireland debate.

Mo Mowlam:
What the f*** for?

Peter Mandelson:
I have a long-standing interest in Northern Irish affairs. My grandfather, as you know, was a very distinguished Unionist.

Mo Mowlam:
*F**** your grandfather. You're after my job - aren't you?

Peter Mandelson:
Of course not. Though a cabinet reshuffle is on the cards and in politics one must never rule anything out.

Mo Mowlam:
Don't lie. Smarming round Trimble. Probably telling Tony to sack me too, you devious c*nt.

Peter Mandelson:
Is this really the demeanour one would expect of a minister of the crown?

Mo Mowlam:
You won't *f***ing* win!

Peter Mandelson:
If you carry on like this, people are going to ask if there's something wrong with you.