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[as Mo Mowlam comes out of the Commons, Peter Mandelson is waiting for her]Mo Mowlam: What are you doing here?Peter Mandelson: Observing the Northern Ireland debate.Mo Mowlam: What the f*** for?Peter Mandelson: I have a long-standing interest in Northern Irish affairs. My grandfather, as you know, was a very distinguished Unionist.Mo Mowlam: *F**** your grandfather. You're after my job - aren't you?Peter Mandelson: Of course not. Though a cabinet reshuffle is on the cards and in politics one must never rule anything out.Mo Mowlam: Don't lie. Smarming round Trimble. Probably telling Tony to sack me too, you devious cunt.Peter Mandelson: Is this really the demeanour one would expect of a minister of the crown?Mo Mowlam: You won't *f***ing* win!Peter Mandelson: If you carry on like this, people are going to ask if there's something wrong with you.

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