Mortdecai2015

Mortdecai:
[arrives hotel] Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm-heavy Jock. Behold this America, this new colossus, this fair land of the free!

Mortdecai:
[entering hotel lobby, sees girls on bikinis] What kind of hell-place is this? I feel as though we've made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film. [asks hotel clerk] Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film?

Hotel Clerk:
Checking in?

Mortdecai:
I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale. I should like to request a bucket of ice, "Do Not Disturb" sign, and a bulldozer.

Hotel Clerk:
- Checking in?

Jock:
- Yeah, we're checking in.

Mortdecai:
I suspect I may need to redecorate.

Hotel Clerk:
Room 326, overlooks the pool.

Mortdecai:
[holds hotel door card] So all I must do is show up, and I'm presented with a credit card. No wonder your country's in financial ruin.

Hotel Clerk:
Do you need help with your bags?

Mortdecai:
No, I do not need help with my bags. I have a f***ing manservant. Strange country.