Mortdecai: [arrives hotel] Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm-heavy Jock. Behold this America, this new colossus, this fair land of the free!Mortdecai: [entering hotel lobby, sees girls on bikinis] What kind of hell-place is this? I feel as though we've made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film. [asks hotel clerk] Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film?Hotel Clerk: Checking in?Mortdecai: I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale. I should like to request a bucket of ice, "Do Not Disturb" sign, and a bulldozer.Hotel Clerk: - Checking in?Jock: - Yeah, we're checking in.Mortdecai: I suspect I may need to redecorate.Hotel Clerk: Room 326, overlooks the pool.Mortdecai: [holds hotel door card] So all I must do is show up, and I'm presented with a credit card. No wonder your country's in financial ruin.Hotel Clerk: Do you need help with your bags?Mortdecai: No, I do not need help with my bags. I have a f***ing manservant. Strange country.
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