Robin Williams: Weapons of Self Destruction2009

Robin Williams:
Some things you may want to stay away from while drinking heavily. Ebay, not a good idea. Ebay and alcoholism, perfect storm of addiction. You'll find yourself up to your ass in George Foreman grills and Sham Wows.

[laughter]

Robin Williams:
Another thing you don't want to do while really drunk is get a tattoo. I did. I got really loaded, I got a tattoo in Mandarin that says "happiness and laughter" right here. I think it says that. I've never had a Chinese person that close to my balls going

[in exaggerated Chinese]

Robin Williams:
"That's what it says."

[laughter]

Robin Williams:
But I had a friend get really f***ed up, and he got a tattoo in Mandarin that's supposed to say "golden warrior", and a Chinese friend said

[in exaggerated Chinese again]

Robin Williams:
"No, it says 'ass monkey'."

[laughter]

Robin Williams:
Then the idiot went out and got drunk again, and got a tattoo in Hindu that was supposed to say "dawn of enlightenment." And a Hindu friend said

[in exaggerated Hindu]

Robin Williams:
"No, it says 'deliveries on Tuesday'."

[laughter]

Robin Williams:
So he is now the ass monkey who delivers on Tuesday for the rest of his life.

[laughter]