Strongbad_email.exe: Disc Five2007

[Strong Bad receives an email from someone named Daniel, from Canada, suggesting that he should have his own set of trading cards, complete with a stick of bubble gum]

Strong Bad:
Daniel, trading cards are the biggest waste of not a video game on the planet! In fact, I thought trading cards were outlawed the day they invented good graphics. As for that "gum" that comes with them, I'm pretty sure they replaced that with a pink piece of balsa wood back in the early 80's and nobody ever noticed. So, no, I shouldn't have trading cards. But most of the other idiots 'round here have engaged in some form of trading cardery. Let's rag on them, shall we?

[a set of sports-themed trading cards with Coach Z is displayed]

Strong Bad:
First up is Coach Z's line of vaguely sports-ish managerial cards. What self-respecting twelve-year-old doesn't want to collect pictures of the smelly old men behind their favorite sports teams? And who could resist memorizing all these fabulous stats?

[Strong Bad looks at one card in particular that says that Coach Z has patted a record number of 23 butts in 1984]

Strong Bad:
Ooh, a record high 23 butt pats in '84! [Homestar appears behind Strong Bad]

Homestar Runner:
And who do you think was the lucky recipient of all those butt pats 'cept a one?

Strong Bad:
Let me guess, it...

Homestar Runner:
[interrupting] No, it was me. It was like I was made to hustle that season.

Strong Bad:
So, who got that last butt pat?

Homestar Runner:
Oh, I think he gave himself that one. He's renowned for his self-butt pats.

Strong Bad:
Yeah, known in seven states.